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Aaron Waite Aaron Waite
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Adding to the Elder Scrolls

If you're like me, you're a little late to the 'Skyrim' PC wagon. I got the game at launch on the 360 and ended up with roughly 110 hours of shouting at dragons and bandits and mudcrabs and just about anything you could yell at in a draconic tongue. There may have been some swords and spells in there as well, but I was too busy shouting at everyone I met to pay much attention. Giant? SHOUT! Sabre tiger? SHOUT! Mammoth cheese? FUS RO MOTHERTRUCKING DAH !I liked that bit of the game, if you couldn't tell. But eventually, I grew tired of shouting (actually, the guards made me stop doing it in town, so it wasn't fun anymore), and longed for new quests, areas and weapons to fill the void that shouting left.

As if in answer to my bemoaning, lo and behold, there was a Steam sale that cut the price on 'Skyrim' and its expansion. Leaping at the opportunity, I snarfed it up like a leftover Thanksgiving sammich. I gorged myself on mods upon mods upon mods until I passed out. When I awoke the next morning from my night of modding debauchery, I dragged myself to my computer and checked my number of Steam Workshop subscriptions. Seventy. Dear Xenu, Spaghetti Monster and Cthulhu, what had I done?Here's a small sample of how I turned 'Skyrim' into an abomination that would rival the best and greatest Frankensteins:

Zelda' Audio Conversion

Are you a huge fan of 'Zelda?' Of course you are, because if you aren't, you're a HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! jerk. You'd also have to be a 'Zelda' fan to get that joke, so why are you even still reading this far if you aren't? Get out and get some air whilst I tell awesome people about this mod.

'Skyrim' has a fantastic soundtrack. I get chills every single time the main theme starts blaring when a dragon swoops down with the express purpose of chowing down on my hooded noggin, but sometimes you need something to remind you of your childhood. This mod replaces the entire soundtrack (along with a few sound effects) with bleeps, boops and ba-dah-dah-daaaahs from the perennial favorite of Nintendo fans. If you have any sort of love for the green-tuniced silent protagonist of yore, download this and absorb the Windfall Island theme while you're wandering through Whiterun.

Complimentary mods: Majora's Mask, Master Sword

Posh Mudcrabs

Have you ever wandered the swamps near Riften and mused to yourself that the crustaceans of this fair land were far too uncivilized? This mod is for you, giving those crabby barbarians a little class with top hats and monocles. There, that's better. Now slaughter them with your pinky out, you gentlemanly lady, you!

Complimentary mods: Uncle Sheogorath's Really Helpful Hints and Tips, Minerfriends

Epic Creatures of Skyrim'

(ECoS 2, if you have Dawnguard)

Sometimes, my wife will start screaming bloody murder. This is a fairly common occurrence at the Waite household, because it's a very specific scream: the scream of, 'AARON, THERE'S A REALLY BIG SPIDER AND IT'S LOOKING AT ME, HALP, HALP, HALP!!!' I immediately throw on my Mario undies and Halo hoodie and spring into action, wielding my Cardboard Tube of Spider Thrash +2. A few 'tactical' retreats and ineffective gibberish battle cries later, my quarry lies dead at my feet, where my faithful dog consumes it and gains its power (spiders throw up on rugs, right?).

It's just not quite as satisfying as say, battling a 40-story tall arachnid. This mod places humongous creatures around the map along with several very powerful versions of normal enemies. It's good for when you've stomped all over every Dragon Priest and draugr in sight and you're looking for something to make you scream in terror while doing your best impression of an armored Michael Johnson.

Complimentary mods: Bigger Giants, Legendary Creatures, Here There Be Monsters

Magicka Sabers

Lightsabers. In Skyrim. Why haven't you downloaded this?Oh, you're a Trekkie? I am so, so sorry.

Complimentary mods: LOTR Weapons, Minecraft Diamond Sword

Aaron Waite believes he's the Dragonborn, he just yells at computers instead of dragons.


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