Spicy subterfuge

COLUMBUS, New Mexico - Authorities say an immigrant suspected of entering the country illegally attempted to make his journey in a shipment of red chile.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers working at a New Mexico border checkpoint said the man was discovered Thursday face down among a commercial load of the spicy stuff.

Zero tolerance

ST. JOHNSBURY, Vt. - A 73-year-old man who was given the first civil marijuana ticket in a Vermont town says he had planted some seeds he found in a box and 'got spanked' by police after it grew into a pot plant. 

William Reynolds was issued a $200 civil ticket by St. Johnsbury police after authorities seized a potted 2 1/2-foot-tall marijuana plant from his Main Street apartment. 

A melon-choly memorial

MUSCATINE, Iowa - At age 79, a southeast Iowa man said he's nearing the end of his life and that he wants a unique grave memorial.

On Thursday in Fruitland, John Hoopes watched as workers installed what certainly is the cemetery's only marker topped by granite appearing to be a giant slice of watermelon.

'I was just hoping they wouldn't drop it,' Hoopes said. 'And they didn't!'

Purloined pizza

SEATTLE - When a delivery driver called 911 to report he'd just been robbed of four pizzas, a Seattle Police K-9 went to work.

The driver told police he parked his van late Thursday night and walked the order up to a south Seattle home, only to be told the resident hadn't ordered any pizza. That's when four men walked out from under a tree, said the pizzas were theirs - and grabbed them.

In a post on their website, police said the delivery man told officers he chased after the men, but lost sight of them.

Two heads are better than one

SAN ANTONIO - A two-headed turtle born last month at the San Antonio Zoo has become so popular that she has her own Facebook page. 

Zoo officials say the Texas cooter, named Thelma and Louise for the female duo in the 1991 Oscar-winning movie, has been doing well. 

Spokeswoman Debbie Rios-Vanskike says the turtle eats and swims, and added that the two heads - named Louise Left and Thelma Right - get along. 

Hail to the bus driver

OAKDALE, Calif. - Authorities say a shirtless man who allegedly stole a transit bus from a San Francisco terminal drove it 100 miles before being arrested. 

California Highway Patrol officers put down road spikes to flatten the tires and get the bus to stop on Friday. 

The driver faces charges including reckless driving, failure to yield, and grand theft. 

What a drag

JOHNSTOWN, Pa. - Police say a western Pennsylvania bank robber was long and tall, but probably not named Sally - despite outward appearances. 

Instead police in Richland Township, near Johnstown, believe the robber was a 6-foot, 6-inch man who was wearing a wig and women's clothes when he handed a teller a note demanding money at the First National Bank branch about 12:30 p.m. Thursday. 

Police say the suspect was wearing a straight-haired red wig, black dress and shoes, and was carrying a handbag.

Friendly neighborhood Spider-Vandal

CINCINNATI - Authorities in Cincinnati have arrested a man who they say was vandalizing a high school while wearing only Spider-Man underwear. 

The Cincinnati Enquirer reports that it happened early Sunday when a suspect used rocks to break several windows at Moeller High School, crawled in one of the windows and sprayed fire extinguishers around the building. 

Hamilton County sheriff's deputies say 23-year-old Thomas Williams was wearing Spider-Man underwear when he was arrested. The 6-foot-5, 295-pound Kenwood man was charged with felony vandalism and breaking and entering.

Raging realtors

LOWER MERION, Pa. - Two real estate agents in a wealthy Philadelphia suburb are accused of tossing dead mice and snakes onto the lawn of their neighbor's house, which is up for sale. 

Police in Lower Merion also allege Jonathan and Andrea Straub were caught on video cutting branches off trees and knocking over 'For Sale' signs. They've been cited for disorderly conduct and harassment. 

Without a hitch

DES MOINES, Iowa - A man who robbed a Des Moines area fast food restaurant had an unusual getaway car. 

The Polk County Sheriff's Office says a man entered a Wendy's Restaurant just before 5 p.m. Sunday. He told an employee he had a weapon and demanded money. 

He was given an undisclosed amount of cash, and then fled across a parking lot of an adjacent building.