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Wednesday, 10 February 2016 12:46

Todd Parker takes on literary love stories

Advice columnist answers questions classic romances should have asked

Happy Valentine's Day, losers!

Since the letters I've received regarding this year's holiday have been generally crappy, I decided to give you folks a little something special, a sort of literary retrospective that I've been kicking around for a while. I thought you lamewads might find it interesting to hear what kind of advice I might give to those characters in literature dealing with relationship complications.

As you might have guessed, the end result is f---ing BRILLIANT.

Rather than confine myself to just one of these magnificent constructions, I instead chose to give my adoring fans a selection that spans centuries on the literary timeline. It's a holiday celebrating love, after all, and since I definitely don't love the st questions you morons sent me, I figured I'd put something together that is both entertaining and educational.

Enjoy.

Published in Cover Story

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