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Tuesday, 03 July 2012 12:15

Celebrity Slam - July 4, 2012

Tom - Kat

Well, anyone who had 5 years, 7 months and 11 days in the TomKat Marriage Length Pool, you are the winner of a brand new set of bragging rights! That's right, Scientology's power couple has called it quits. Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise late last month, setting the rumor mill abuzz.

Now, I'm not going to get into the reasons for the split here, nor am I going to speculate on the rumors that Katie did this to keep Tom from sending their 6-year-old daughter Suri to an intensive Scientology institute called SeaOrg, Or that the Church was tailing Katie as of late. Nope, those are rumors that haven't been confirmed, so we, as the bastion of journalism we so clearly are, cannot in good faith report those claims.

What I am going to focus on here is the child, Suri. Sweetie, you are young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Do yourself a favor and get interested in math or accounting or something boring like that. Just don't go into the entertainment field. America would probably love to see you be the next Miley or Lindsay, but don't give in. You are better than that.

Published in Celebrity Slam

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