Thursday, 01 August 2013 09:05

Celebrity Slam - July 31, 2013

Don't spit into the wind

Our disdain for Justin Bieber is no secret. We've spent a lot of time taking shots at the pop idol, and while it might seem like we pile on the kid, the truth is that he simply makes it so easy. We're huge proponents of low-hanging fruit here at Celebrity Slam, after all; if a celebrity especially one as uberfamous as Bieber continuously pulls stupid crap that makes him or her look like a moron and/or d-bag, it's our sworn duty to run with it.

And so we're back to the Biebs once again this week.

Published in Celebrity Slam
Wednesday, 22 May 2013 12:50

Celebrity Slam - May 22, 2013

Awards show mayhem

Awards shows would seem to be the perfect storm for celebrity idiocy. You put a bunch of them together into a confined space and essentially reward their outsized egos with trophies and whatnot. The asshat potential in sore winners and sore losers alone is incalculable.

But then you have a show like the recent Billboard Music Awards. This show offered a trio of moments that fit quite nicely within the confines of this space. You've got judgment and disdain from a drunken hillbilly, scorn and derision aimed at a fading teen idol and one of the best accidental wrestling moves you're ever likely to see. 

Published in Celebrity Slam
Wednesday, 17 April 2013 12:52

Celebrity Slam - Apr. 17, 2013

Another Bieber fail

In case you were wondering, Justin Bieber is still behaving like a self-absorbed delusional little twit.

The latest misstep by the Biebs came during a recent visit paid to the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam. You would think that if anything could get Justin Bieber to behave respectfully and think about something other than Justin Bieber for a little while, this would be it.

You would be wrong.

Published in Celebrity Slam
Wednesday, 20 March 2013 12:01

Celebrity Slam - Mar. 20, 2013

Bieber the bully?

We've all seen that fame and fortune can lead to an inflated sense of self-importance. Being surrounded by yes-men dependent on your earning power certainly lends itself to an overinflated ego. And when celebrities believe their own hype, they sometimes find themselves taking shots at other famous folk often for no good reason.

Published in Celebrity Slam
Wednesday, 09 January 2013 11:59

Celebrity Slam - Jan. 9, 2013

Public relief

In this segment, we're going to discuss two different celebrities. These two men found themselves faced with one of nature's calls in very public places; one was called while at the airport, the other while at the White House. However, each of these men dealt with the situation very differently.

We'll start with Bronson Pelletier, a young actor who stars as one of the werewolves in the thankfully-concluded 'Twilight' series of films. Late last month, Pelletier was taken into custody by security at LAX after urinating in the middle of a terminal while waiting for a flight. Ordinarily, we would qualify that charge with an 'allegedly' especially since the guy claimed he didn't do it.

However, incontrovertible video evidence has surfaced. Seriously there's actually video of the guy straight-up peeing on the floor in an airport. The dude did it.

On the flip side of the coin, you've got 'Today' weatherman Al Roker, who recently revealed an embarrassing event of his own. In a 'Dateline' interview, Roker confessed that during a White House visit a month after his 2002 gastric bypass, he felt the need to fart. He was alone, so he figured he'd let it rip alas, more than mere gas would pass. In his words: 'I pooped my pants.'

Roker bee-lined to the bathroom, ditched the dirty drawers and covered the rest of the event while going commando. That, my friends, is a pro's pro.

The idea of famous people peeing and pooping in public is undeniably hilarious. It's just remarkable to be able to see the spectrum of how such things come to pass. You've got the drunken entitled asshat who thinks that just because he's in some terrible movies, he can do whatever he wants. If there's a bigger douchebag maneuver than taking a leak on an airport carpet, I'd like to hear it. Then you've got the guy who, despite dropping a deuce in his pants (an occurrence which would assuredly bring our respective workdays to a close), went ahead and did his job while at the freaking White House.

It's almost a metaphor for celebrity attitudes: punks do their business wherever they like and damned be the consequences; professionals push through the problems and get st done.

For love of the game

There were a lot of contenders for the second spot in this week's Celebrity Slam. Jimmy Kimmel is starting a talk-how-host beef (one of the finest kinds of beef) with Jay Leno. Charlie Sheen is in the midst of a party-hearty he-said he-said with the mayor of Los Angeles. And of course, there are the free-flowing Justin Bieber weed-smoking allegations.

All of those would be fun stories to address. However, none of them would be quite as much fun as the one we finally settled on.

New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan was on vacation in the Bahamas when a photographer captured a picture of him sporting a tattoo that islet's call it 'interesting.'

The image is a woman bearing a striking resemblance to Ryan's wife Michelle. She is wearing a Jets jersey with the number six the same number as that worn by increasingly-embattled Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez and nothing else. She also appears to be striking the pose popularly known as 'Tebowing' a possible reference to Jets backup QB and ESPN darling Tim Tebow.

When questioned at a press conference, Ryan claimed that if Sanchez didn't shape up, he'd get the tattoo changed. He also said that he's had the ink for three years now, and that the numeric correlation is just a coincidence.

Suffice to say, we call shenanigans on Coach Ryan.

Leaving aside the fact that there's already some established weirdness in the relationship between the Ryans remember the weird foot fetish video stuff from a while back? this is all just a little too convenient. She's wearing your starter's number and posing like your backup; are we really supposed to believe that you didn't do that on purpose? No one cares what unconventional crap you and yours get up to in the bedroom, but you should probably try to keep it to yourself. Permanently inking some weird football/sex amalgam on your arm even if it's something that would be hidden ordinarily just comes off as a creepy announcement of how into quarterbacks your wife is.

Or maybe this is all part of your attempt to motivate your terrible team and even worse quarterback into having something resembling a decent season in 2013. You're a lunatic, after all who knows what you'll get up to?

Published in Celebrity Slam
Thursday, 20 December 2012 09:50

Celebrity Slam - Dec. 19, 2012

Rainmaking regrets

The idea of 'making it rain' in a strip club has almost become cultural shorthand. It precisely captures a certain attitude with regards to wealth and self-importance. Usually, it's the sort of situation where everybody wins.

But sometimes, making it rain goes awry.

Published in Celebrity Slam
Wednesday, 14 November 2012 16:52

Celebrity Slam - Nov. 14, 2012

The end of an era

Here at Celebrity Slam, we've seen a whole mess of famous people riding the romantic roller coaster. In a world jam-packed with people who are both pretty and pedantic, it's no surprise that their relationships come and go at a fairly high frequency. Most of the time, it's just business as usual.

However, when a pop culture power couple bites the dust, it warrants our attention.

Published in Celebrity Slam
Wednesday, 24 October 2012 20:40

Celebrity Slam - Oct. 24, 2012

No Love lost

You would think that celebrities would learn from their mistakes. All they would have to do is turn on TMZ or check the gossip blogs once in a while to know that certain actions are always going to backfire.

For instance: pulling a gun in an argument.

Alas, increasingly unstable comedian Katt Williams refuses to learn that particular lesson. According to reports, Williams recently became embroiled in a heated exchange with actor Faizon Love outside a Hollywood nightclub. It is unclear what the argument was about, but it went to the next level when Williams allegedly went to his car and grabbed a gun, then proceeded to brandish the weapon in Love's face.

Published in Celebrity Slam
Wednesday, 30 May 2012 12:36

Celebrity Slam - May 30, 2012

Badass Bieber

There's something irritatingly wholesome about Justin Bieber. Even when he tries to be tough by association hanging out with boxers like Floyd Mayweather and Mike Tyson for example it never quite rings true. He's all goofy grin and haircut heck, that innocence is one of the main reasons he's achieved so much success. Turns out Bieber might be a harder case than we gave him credit for.

A California photographer is alleging that the Biebs beat him up.

According to the report, Bieber and girlfriend Selena Gomez were leaving a Calabasas mall on Sunday when the altercation took place. According to the paparazzo, he was simply trying to take a picture of Bieber and Gomez as they were leaving. Bieber took umbrage and there was apparently a scuffle before the tween idols drove off. The photog claimed injury; an ambulance was called and he was taken to the hospital, examined and released.

Published in Celebrity Slam


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