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BANGOR – Another literary genius has sprung from the fertile creative soil of our region, with a debut author preparing to take the world of letters by storm. But she is not just any author – this writer is a respected competitive chess player and a groundbreaking app developer. She decided that her next conquest would be the written word.

She is also a dog.

Longtime readers might remember stories from years past when we covered this pooch’s bevy of canine accomplishments – her surprise aptitude for chess, her elegant and effective coding ability – but this latest installment in her adventures presents an opportunity not just to promote her excellence, but to issue a confession.

This dog is my dog. She has always been my dog.

Published in Style

ST. POMME DE TERRE – For a small town nestled away in amidst the forests and potato fields of northwestern Aroostook County, the hamlet of St. Pomme de Terre sure does see some big drama, usually driven by the massive hairiness and sharp business savvy of its most famous resident, Bigfoot.

The former selectman and current footwear entrepreneur has found himself in the spotlight once again, albeit reluctantly.

Bigfoot has retained counsel and filed suit against beloved indie production icons the Duplass Brothers, claiming that their upcoming docuseries – “Sasquatch,” a three-part series scheduled to drop on April 20 – is defamatory to him and his cryptid brethren. According to his lawyer, Bigfoot is seeking a cease and desist on the airing of the program, as well as punitive damages in the area of $100 million.

Published in Style

Are we living in a simulation?

It’s a question that has risen to prominence in certain technophilosophical circles in recent years, though in truth, the skeptical hypothesis regarding just how real reality is has been around for centuries; perhaps the most pop culturally present of those ancient arguments are things like Plato’s Allegory of the Cave or the “butterfly dream” from the Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi, though many other long-ago thinkers expressed similar ideas.

What it boils down to is the notion that everything about the universe we occupy, from the tiniest molecule to the most massive star, is a computer simulation. That includes us, by the way.

This current flavor of this theory springs largely from work in the early 2000s by the Swedish philosopher Nick Bostrom, whose premise presupposes that future predictions regarding the massive increase of computing power are accurate and that at some point, said supercomputing capacity would be devoted to running simulations of civilization’s forebears. Assuming those simulations are sufficiently detailed and fine-tuned, the people in them will be conscious and sentient … and virtual.

Bostrom’s simulation argument – which he calls a trilemma – states that one of these three statements is almost certain to be true:

  1.     The fraction of human-level civilizations that reach a posthuman stage (i.e. capable of developing these sort of immense simulations) is very close to zero.
  2.     The fraction of posthuman civilizations that are interested in running simulations of their evolutionary history, or variations thereof, is close to zero.
  3.     The fraction of all people with our kind of experiences that are living in a simulation are very close to one.

Bostrom goes on to posit through anthropic reasoning that IF that third statement is true, then we are almost certainly living in a simulation.

There – that’s everything that five minutes on Wikipedia could teach me about simulation theory. You’re welcome.

But that’s not the whole story. In fact, we here in The Maine Edge’s Investigative Futurism Department have spent several hours digging into a different possibility with regard to our simulated world – a possibility that hits us where we live. You see, after much experimentation and deliberation, the IFD has come to an undeniable and paradigm-shattering conclusion.

We ARE in a simulation, but not one crafted by the powers that be in some far-flung future. No, the simulation in which we exist is not, one could argue, a simulation at all.

We’re characters in a story. Specifically, a Stephen King story.

Published in Cover Story
Wednesday, 27 March 2019 14:27

YetiFoot-Greyman to host corporate summit

ST. POMME DE TERRE – In what should come as no surprise to regular readers of these pages, the cryptid consortium in the small northern Maine hamlet of St. Pomme de Terre are back in the news.

The past couple of years have seen the merger of YetiFoot Industries with OG cryptid-fronted footwear company Greyman Galoshes really thrive, with the combined forces of Bigfoot, the Yeti and the Scottish giant ape-man Am Fear Liath Mor (AKA Greyman) cornering the market on high-end outdoor footwear.

While industry leaders like L.L. Bean and Patagonia can’t be thrilled with the ever-rising popularity of YetiFoot-Greyman, there’s not a single executive out there who won’t admit – however begrudgingly – that they’re actually quite fond of the YF-G leadership.

Published in Biz

BREWER – Earlier this month, area residents watched as the U.S. Coast Guard cutters Thunder Bay and Shackle worked their way up and down the Penobscot River, carving through the ice in an effort to open up the river following a long winter.

According to official spokespeople, the annual operation is executed to help prevent inland flooding; the ice is broken up and allowed to flow downstream. It winds up in the ocean rather than city parking lots and basements when the spring thaw arrives in earnest.

But is that REALLY why they’re doing it?

Published in Style

SEDGWICK – Walter McCormick, 48, of Sedgwick, says a stop at a CVS pharmacy in Augusta in late January inspired him to finally put his affairs in order after the young clerk handed him a receipt of more than 18 feet in length.

Published in Biz
Wednesday, 27 March 2019 13:57

WholeScroll takes control

For too long, we who are beholden to streaming services have struggled with the overwhelming degree of choice with which we’ve been presented. Too many options become no options as we find ourselves paralyzed, doing nothing but scrolling through menus for ages before ultimately giving up and watching a particular episode of “The Office” for the fifth time.

The brilliant minds at WholeScroll have developed a way to greatly streamline the streaming experience, an unconventional solution to a nuanced problem.

Published in Tekk

Does music superstar Prince – a noted member of the Jehovah’s Witness faith during the last two decades of his life – continue to proselytize door to door in the Minneapolis-area neighborhood surrounding his Paisley Park estate during his afterlife?

Clem Bacarro, 51, a resident of Audobon St. in Chanhassen, Minnesota, believes that he is.

Published in Buzz

LAGRANGE – More than three decades after experiencing what he calls “a life-altering” moment, 55-year-old Francis Hirsch insists that he is “still rockin’ with Dokken,” referring to the heavy metal band that he saw at Oxford Plains Speedway, in Oxford, Maine, as part of the “Monsters of Rock” tour, on June 25, 1988.

Published in Buzz

BANGOR – Move over Little Free Libraries – there’s a new streetside trend that’s setting the Queen City abuzz.

Inspired by the quaint delights elicited by the tiny lending libraries that have appeared in various Bangor neighborhoods in recent years, a handful of apiary enthusiasts are looking to spread their very specific hobby to the masses.

Published in Livin'
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