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Tim Bissell Tim Bissell
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Three Pint Stance - Help! My beer is warm!

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As the mercury continues to rise in this early heat wave, the importance of properly chilled beer cannot be understated. Sure, there are certain styles of beer that taste great at warmer temps and we can talk about those some other time, a time when it isn't 100 in the shade. 

As for right now? I want a bottle of Kolsch and I want it as cold as you can get it!

So I raise a hypothetical that may resonate with you. You walk into Ye Olde Beer Shoppe to find a six-pack of local suds to quench this powerful thirst that has built up throughout your day working in the relentless heat. The beer you desire is there waiting for you, but there is one problem – it’s warm.

What is a thirsty yet impatient beer drinker to do? Luckily, I have a foolproof solution for this problem that should have you drinking a frosty cold beer in 15 minutes or less.

Here is the trick:

  1.     Take four of the beers and put them in the fridge, those ones are taking the flying coach to Cooltown.
  2.     Take the remaining two beers and prepare a spot for them in the freezer. Make sure there is enough room so that they not be touching any other items. Airflow is your friend here.
  3.     Take two paper towels big enough to wrap completely around the can or bottle and completely soak the paper towels in water.
  4.     Wring the water out and then wrap a soaked paper towel around each can/bottle of beer.
  5.     Place the paper towel covered containers into the freezer and set a timer for 15 minutes. No more. No less. If Siri or Alexa live in your house, utilize them for this.
  6.     Did you set a timer? Honestly, do it. You’ll thank me when you aren't cleaning beercicles out of the freezer.
  7.     When the timer goes off, take one of the beers out, de-towel it and crack it open, hopefully in the presence of the boys.
  8.     Pop the other one in the fridge - that one is the on-deck beer.

That’s it. Now you have cold beer, and it’s only been about 15 minutes. The on-deck beer is super cold and ready. And by the time you get into beer three, the fridge will have safely transported the four coach travelers to Cooltown.

Extremely minor problem solved.

TRAVELERS ADDENDUM:

I hear you in the back, so cool your jets. What do you do if you are traveling and there isn't a freezer in your hotel room? Easy, plug the bathroom sink, fill it halfway with cold water and then get a bucket of ice and dump that in along with the cold water. Pop a few cans or bottles into the ice bath and wait 15 minutes. You’ll have a pretty darn cold beer to drink as you watch the free cable and wear a bathrobe over your regular clothes. That’s what we all do, right? Maybe that’s just me. Anyway, enjoy the beer!

PS: Tune into Downtown with Rich Kimball on AM 620 at around 4:15 on June 15 for a chance to win a pair of VIP passes to Tap Into Summer: Bangor’s Brew Fest!

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