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Tim Bissell Tim Bissell
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Three Pint Stance - A hastily-composed Christmas poem

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‘Twas a few nights before Christmas, alight with tidings of cheer

I peeked in the fridge, to find a craft beer

The egg nog was present, snug in its spot

Along with last year’s fruitcake, long since forgot

Up and down each shelf I did franticly look

“Did I forget to buy beer?” I said as I shook

I looked past the milk, and again round the ‘nog

But all I could find was some cider and grog

No IPA, no stout, nary a lager was seen,

I’d even take one unfinished, a beer that is green

A thought crossed my mind, “Maybe it’s still in the trunk”

But I could find there was clutter and junk

So I gave up my search and headed to bed,

Sober as a judge, and filled up with dread

But as I slept, something magical occurred

A delivery of sorts, my plea had been heard

As I woke to check if it all was a dream

I beheld a sight that near made me scream

“Honey come look!” I said to my wife

She looked at me strangely and said “Get a life”

The once craft-free fridge was now filled with abundance

Epiphany, Weiss, Hipster and Substance

There was beer from up North, down South and between

E’en a rare can of Tributary Pilsner was seen

I opened the crisper and much to my delight,

A six-pack of Stein Song, so clean and so bright!

Not to be outdone, in the deli drawer I spy

A Howler from Fogtown, a spot I had yet to try!

As I continued my search, I uncovered more treasure

Cans from VT, Hermit Thrush and Good Measure

Overwhelmed, I collapsed; I had finished my standing

Only to notice Gunnars Daughter, a can from Mast Landing

Pushing aside the ‘nog, I took in the grandeur of this haul

Beers from nearby breweries, some big and some small

Stars in my eyes, I couldn’t believe my luck

My fridge, once barren, looked like a distributor’s truck!

SoMe, Foundation, Battery Steele and Cushnoc

Along with Strong, Atlantic and the Harbor of Rock

As I peered through and made way towards the back,

I found an Allagash Coolship and an Oxbow four-pack

I filled with a joy I didn’t think possible to achieve

Know this, friends: in Beer Santa, I firmly believe!

I cracked open the first, an IPA with some bite,

And settled in for a delightful December night.

So, fair Edge readers, my gift is this rhyme

It would have been better, but I ran out of time

I wish you Merry Christmas and a New Year that’s fine,

And in 2019, I resolve to be better about deadlines.



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