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Kibbles and Picks 2022 – Week 8

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Well s—t.

Just like that, not only is my slim lead gone, but Stella has leapt out to a two-game advantage of her own. She had a very respectable 9-5 record in this week of weirdness. I, on the other hand, stumbled to 5-9 – my second consecutive sub-.500 record. I suppose the only real surprise here is that it took until roughly midseason for her to retake the top spot. One imagines that it is all downhill from here.

We’ll do a deeper reflection come next week, when we’re actually past the halfway point, but for now, let’s just agree that I remain a prognostication masochist. I am apparently the world’s greatest proponent of canine socialism, as I clearly enjoy being publicly owned by a dog.

Until then, we’ve got Week 8. Stella and I differ on just six of the week’s 15 contests, so barring abject dominance, we won’t see any massive moves one way or the other. Of course, Stella’s not worried about big moves – she’s content to simply beat me in fits and starts, slowly but steadily increasing her lead.

As per usual, we’re in opposition on the Thursday night game. I’m going with the Buccaneers at home, while Stella has the visiting Ravens. Look, I’m seeing the same seemingly washed Tom Brady as you are – to steal a joke whose source I can’t remember, he really should have apologized to that gypsy woman he bumped into after she whispered “Thinner” – but the Ravens have been dealing with some weirdness too. They’re no strangers to losing games they should win and Lamar Jackson has been scuffling a bit. Plus, the Tampa Bay defense is pretty solid. The Bucs might win ugly, but they’ll win. Stella thinks I’m crazy for investing any faith in a deteriorating QB who’s essentially the same age as I, a man who sneezes and then can’t tie his shoes for a week, am. She likes Jackson to bounce back and for the Ravens D to be rejuvenated against this suddenly iffy Buccaneers squad. She also thinks it could be ugly, but she thinks Baltimore will win out.

From there, we head to Minnesota, where I have the home Vikings holding serve against the visiting Cardinals. I just can’t get past the fact that Minnesota has so much offensive talent at the skill positions. Dalvin Cook is far better than he’s shown thus far and I’m expecting a real explosion from Justin Jefferson. I’m guessing the Vikings D forces a few mistakes and that’s enough to earn the W. Stella thinks the Vikings are going to be the start of a bounceback from Arizona QB Kyler Murray. He’s got DeAndre Hopkins back and a couple of other burners catching the ball, as well as a running back cadre that’s getting healthier. She expects the Cardinals defense to slow the Vikings down just enough to allow Murray and company to outscore them.

I’m picking the Saints to win at home over the Raiders, though I don’t feel great about it. There’s just something about this New Orleans squad; I think they’re going to win this game even though I don’t particularly like what they bring to the table. Hell, Andy Dalton is going to start at QB. Still, I feel like I have to take some swings. Stella feels no such pressure, and so is going to hitch her wagon to the blazing hot Josh Jacobs and the uber-talented Davante Adams. She also thinks that the Raiders pass rush is going to have Dalton uncomfortable all day.

You’ll be shocked to hear that I’m taking the Patriots over the Jets. Sure, it’s unclear who their quarterback will be and even less clear as to whether it even matters, but they’re my team and so I’m going with them, even after the embarrassing shellacking they got from the Godforsaken Bears of all teams. Stella, not being an idiot driven by emotion, is going with the Jets. She’s not super confident – the Jets have had some injuries and Belichick always seems to have the Jets’ number – but she thinks they’ll pull it out. Plus, there’s the added bonus of sticking it to me, which she always enjoys. We’ll be watching this one, but neither of us believes that it will be an actually entertaining experience.

Tennessee/Houston is a game that is happening. I have the Texans at home. Stella has the Titans on the road. This is another one solely for Nashvillians, anti-Cowboys hipsters and degenerate gamblers. Moving on.

Lastly, we’ve got the San Francisco/LA Rams tilt. I’ve got a hunch about the 49ers here. Now that the newly-acquired Christian McCaffery has had some time to get his feet under him, I expect he’s going to add a wildly dynamic new facet to this offense. There’s a lot of scary firepower on that side of the ball now, even if QB Jimmy G doesn’t necessarily strike fear. Stella’s got the Rams here, even though Matt Stafford has been inconsistent throwing the ball and the running game has been largely MIA. The truth is that there is a ton of pass catching talent and a ton of pass rushing talent here – if those two position groups perform up to snuff, the Rams will have little trouble with the Niners. And Stella believes that they will more than handle their business.

And there it is. Stella’s in the lead, I’m making questionable choices – all is right with the world once again. Wish me luck, folks. I’m going to need it.

(winners in caps)

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ALLEN’S PICKS

Thursday, October 27

Baltimore at TAMPA BAY

Sunday, October 30

Denver at JACKSONVILLE

Carolina at ATLANTA

Chicago at DALLAS

MIAMI at Detroit

Arizona at MINNESOTA

Las Vegas at NEW ORLEANS

NEW ENGLAND at NY Jets

Pittsburgh at PHILADELPHIA

TENNESSEE at Houston

Washington at INDIANAPOLIS

SAN FRANCISCO at LA Rams

NY GIANTS at Seattle

Green Bay at BUFFALO

Monday, October 31

CINCINNATI at Cleveland

Week 7 record: 5-9

Season record: 60-47-1

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STELLA’S PICKS

Thursday, October 27

BALTIMORE at Tampa Bay

Sunday, October 30

Denver at JACKSONVILLE

Carolina at ATLANTA

Chicago at DALLAS

MIAMI at Detroit

ARIZONA at Minnesota

LAS VEGAS at New Orleans

New England at NY JETS

Pittsburgh at PHILADELPHIA

TENNESSEE at Houston

Washington at INDIANAPOLIS

San Francisco at LA RAMS

NY GIANTS at Seattle

Green Bay at BUFFALO

Monday, October 31

CINCINNATI at Cleveland

Week 7 record: 9-5

Season record: 62-45-1

Last modified on Thursday, 27 October 2022 11:15

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