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Weird National Briefs - (01/14/15)

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This week in criminal masterminds

ROCHESTER, N.H. - Police in Rochester, New Hampshire, say a man suspected of stealing money from a gas station was captured about an hour later after he crashed his car while driving drunk.

WMUR-TV reports that police arrested 27-year-old Daniel Wilson after responding to the accident scene on Charles Street near Knight Street around 3 p.m. Saturday. Police say he crossed the double yellow line and crashed into a parked car. He was charged with driving while intoxicated and unauthorized use of a propelled vehicle.

Police identified him as the suspect who an hour earlier had stolen money from a safe at a Shell gas station on Washington Street. They say he managed to take the money while the clerk was busy with several customers.

He was charged with theft.

TME Daring daylight robbery AND daring-er drunk driving by 3 p.m. that's a go-getter!

Bathroom boa

SAN DIEGO- Officials in San Diego say the owner of a 5 1/2-foot snake that turned up in an office toilet earlier this week has come forward to claim his pet.

County animal services did not identify the man in a Friday statement, but said he took the Columbian rainbow boa home from the shelter and will face no criminal charges.

A woman was plunging the toilet at her marketing firm on Tuesday when the snake popped up and flicked its tongue.

The department says an animal control officer found the boa on the floor, shedding and slightly underweight.

It was taken to an animal care facility and bit a handler.

Had the owner not shown up by Friday, the snake would have gone to a rescue group.

TME And we're officially never going to the bathroom again.

Not lovin' it

SALEM, S.D.- A six-vehicle pileup on Interstate 90 in South Dakota left the road covered in 500 pounds of McDonald's French fries.

The Argus Leader reports that emergency personnel in McCook County in the southeast part of the state spent Friday morning removing the fries from the road.

Emergency Manager Brad Stiefvater says the vehicles collided near Salem due to zero-visibility conditions on the interstate due to snow. No one was injured.

One of the vehicles involved was a semi carrying a load of McDonald's French fries.

Emergency Manager Brad Stiefvater says crews had to use a plow to remove fries that spilled onto the road.

TME Bystanders hoped for a ketchup truck all except that one weirdo waiting for mayo.

Chainsaw chase

DEMOPOLIS, Ala.- Police say robbery suspects threw chainsaws at police who chased their getaway van from Demopolis to Selma.

Demopolis Police Chief Tommie Reese says an officer was on patrol early Thursday morning and heard a store's alarm going off. Reese says the officer saw a white van fleeing the store's parking lot and chased it along a highway.

Authorities say the van's occupants threw chainsaws and other items that may have been stolen from the store at police during the pursuit.

Reese says the chase ended in Selma and a 57-year-old Birmingham man was arrested on charges of burglary, receiving stolen property, possession of burglary tools and attempting to elude police.

Authorities say a second suspect fled on foot. Reese says the van the men were riding in was also stolen.

TME Wasn't this in a 'Die Hard'?

Beer pressure?

VINELAND, N.J.- Authorities say a southern New Jersey man cited for drunken driving on New Year's Eve claimed he shouldn't be charged because it's a time when 'everyone drives drunk.'

According to a police report, Daniel Pratts was stopped around midnight after an officer saw him go through a stop sign in Vineland.

The Daily Journal reports that Pratts performed poorly in roadside sobriety testing and was taken to police headquarters for processing. According to the police report, while there, he told another officer, 'It's New Year's Eve, everyone drives drunk.'

Pratts also was cited for refusal to take a breath test and reckless driving. A telephone number for him could not be located Wednesday.

TME The man then immediately jumped off a bridge because his friend did.

Bang-up job

AIKEN, S.C.- Authorities say a man who shot himself while robbing an Aiken hotel was taken into custody after he flagged down a deputy for help a few minutes later.

Aiken County deputies said in a news release that 27-year-old David Dempsey shot himself in the leg after pointing a gun at a clerk at the Quality Inn around 10:30 p.m. Friday and demanding money.

Investigators say officers were at the hotel when Dempsey stopped a deputy and asked for help for his gunshot. Authorities say the deputy realized Dempsey and the others in the car matched the description of the robbers from the hotel and arrested them.

Dempsey was treated for his wound and taken to the Aiken County jail. It wasn't known if he or the other suspects had lawyers.

TME At least it wasn't his foot instead of being a metaphor, he's just a moron.

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