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Weird National Briefs (01-20-2016)

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Dumping a take

DALLAS - Police say a man has been arrested after using a dump truck to steal an ATM outside a Plano bank and leading authorities on a chase to Hutchins.

The Dallas Morning News reports that 63-year-old Larry James Jackson is charged with theft and evading arrest or detention.

An ATM at a Chase bank in north Plano was gone when police responded to an alarm around 2 a.m. Saturday.

A Texas Department of Public Safety helicopter found the ATM with the machine's electronic tracking device. Police say Jackson continued driving the dump truck to Dallas County. Officers forced it to stop in Hutchins by using spike strips.

Jackson is being held in the Plano City Jail and will be transferred to the Collin County Detention Center.

An investigation is ongoing.

TME It's sad to see how far Bob the Builder has fallen.

Swimming with sharks

HYPOLUXO, Fla.- Wildlife officials are trying to figure out exactly how a shark got into the swimming pool at a South Florida condo complex.

The South Florida Sun Sentinel reports that Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers responded to the Mariner's Cay condominium in Hypoluxo last week after a woman found a live five-foot blacktip shark in the pool.

The woman told officers she saw two young men running from the pool, which is located near the shoreline of the Intracoastal Waterway. The officers removed the shark from the pool and returned it to the ocean.

Blacktip sharks are among the most common species in coastal South Florida.

TME Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the pool

Stirring the pot

DETROIT- Police say a dispute over stirring a pot of chili led to an attack that injured two people at a Detroit home.

Officer Jennifer Moreno says a 26-year-old is accused of attacking his 35-year-old wife and a 30-year-old man who is a family acquaintance around 5:10 a.m. Friday on the city's west side.

Moreno tells The Detroit News the acquaintance stirred the pot, which was on the stove, and the man apparently didn't like that. Moreno says the acquaintance told police the man bit and stabbed him because he 'was unhappy about him stirring the chili.'

The 26-year-old was arrested. His name wasn't immediately released, pending charges.

Police say the acquaintance had bite and stab wounds to his thigh that were non-life-threatening. The woman wasn't taken to the hospital.

TME To be fair, that guy was stirring counterclockwise like a g-d barbarian.

Tough sledding

BURLINGTON, Vt.- Authorities say a Canadian man was arrested while pulling a sled carrying more than 180 pounds of prescription pills across the border into the United States.

The U.S. attorney's office says 21-year-old Cedrik Bourgault-Morin was apprehended early Wednesday after he crossed the border from Quebec along a railroad line into North Troy, Vermont.

Prosecutors say Bourgault-Morin was wearing white camouflage and Border Patrol agents were alerted to his presence when he triggered a sensor.

Prosecutors say agents found 300 vacuum-sealed bags of anti-anxiety Xanax pills in a duffel bag on the sled. They say the pills had a street value of $1.6 million.

Bourgault-Morin was being held Thursday in a Vermont prison. His attorney hasn't returned a call seeking comment.

TME They just couldn't let this one slide.

Automatic for the people

PITTSBURGH- Pittsburgh police are searching for two would-be carjackers who apparently can't drive a stick-shift.

Police have been looking for the pair since Tuesday night, when one of them tapped on a 28-year-old driver's side window with a gun.

The two ordered the man out of his car and demanded money. When the victim said he had none, they demanded his cellphone and car keys.

Police spokeswoman Emily Schaffer says when the victim told the suspect the car had a manual transmission they decided they didn't want it and ran away.

TME Their stick-up stuck them with a stick.

Fortune's fool

BATTLE CREEK, Mich.- The head of a southwestern Michigan mental health agency has learned his future: at least 32 months in prison for using public money to hire a fortuneteller.

Ervin Brinker was sentenced by a Lansing-area judge Wednesday, two months after pleading guilty to embezzlement and Medicaid fraud conspiracy.

Brinker was CEO at Summit Pointe, a mental health organization in Battle Creek that serves people in five counties. He was accused of spending $510,000 on a palm reader and her husband in Key West, Florida, and concealing it from others.

The attorney general's office says Brinker will pay double that amount as restitution and a civil penalty. A message seeking comment from his attorney wasn't immediately returned.

Brinker will be eligible for parole after 32 months.

TME (Insert obligatory 'Why didn't he see it coming?' joke here.)

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