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Weird National Briefs (01-13-2016)

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Airport hiss-teria

BANGKOK - Bangkok's main international airport has issued an apology after a snake was found on a luggage cart in the arrival hall and startled passengers.

Suvarnabhumi International Airport, built on land previously known as 'Cobra Swamp,' said it would like to 'apologize for the incident that frightened passengers' on Sunday.

Passengers spotted the snake coiled around the base of the trolley after a female traveler had loaded bags onto it and was preparing to leave the arrival hall, Thai media reported.

'After being alerted, security officers captured the snake right away and no passengers were injured,' Airports of Thailand said in a statement Sunday that described the reptile as 'a small baby snake' but did not identify the species.

Snake expert Thanaphong Tawan at a Bangkok snake farm run by the Thai Red Cross Society said the snake appeared to be a non-venomous variety called Dryocalamus davisonii - commonly known as Blanford's bridle snake - based on a picture taken at the airport and published by Thai media.

TME You built your airport on something called Cobra Swamp what did you expect?

Pantsless transit

MOSCOW- Moscow police are looking into the weekend's no-pants subway ride for a possible misdemeanor.

Despite freezing temperatures, several dozen people joined the global annual event on Sunday by riding Moscow's ornate subway with no trousers or skirts on.

The Moscow police said in a statement on Monday that it is studying reports and posts on social media to see if any laws or regulations have been breached.

It was not immediately clear what the pantless subway riders could be charged with but the stunt could technically fall under the law against disturbing public order.

The Communists of Russia, a marginal political party, earlier on Monday called for charges against young people in Moscow and St. Petersburg who 'challenged public morality and traditional values' by wearing no pants.

TME Honestly, isn't sitting on a subway seat without pants punishment enough?

The Candyman can't

HESPERIA, Calif.- Candy might not be so sweet for a Southern California man.

Jesus Ibarra of Hesperia was arrested Thursday after authorities say they found his garage full of stolen sweets. He was freed on bail but couldn't be reached for comment at his home Friday.

The Riverside Press-Enterprise says Mars Candy Co. sweets that hadn't passed inspection were supposed to be trucked to a location in San Bernardino County for destruction but when the truck arrived, 7,500 pounds of candy were missing.

The Sheriff's Department says investigators caught a break when ads starting turning up online.

That led to Ibarra's home. Authorities say his garage had been turned into a candy store with 30 racks of boxed candy labeled with prices.

TME They can't all be Willy Wonka.

Poetic justice

COLUMBUS, Ohio- A judge used a five-stanza poem to dismiss an Ohio prisoner's lawsuit over bathroom access, writing that 'neither runs nor constipation can justify this litigation.'

Franklin County Judge David Cain concluded the inmate didn't have a case.

'You know, if he is going to file something that frivolous, he can't expect me to be too judicious in how I respond,' Cain told The Columbus Dispatch. 'He can't expect me to take it seriously.'

The inmate, Darek Lathan, alleged that he soiled himself and was ridiculed after a guard at the Correctional Reception Center in Orient refused his request to use an open restroom during recreation time one evening. He sued the state, seeking at least $2 million in damages.

Cain dismissed the case Thursday through written rhymes that summarized Lathan's allegations and the jurist's conclusions, including: 'Claiming loss and shame to boot the plaintiff filed the present suit, but the law provideth no relief from such unmitigated grief.'

Records show Lathan, 47, is now incarcerated elsewhere and had no attorney in the case who could comment on his behalf.

The judge, who started out as a journalist, said it took him about an hour to write the poem.

'We have to have some fun every once in a while in this job,' Cain told the newspaper.

TME The world of poetry now feels the pain/of having missed out on Judge David Cain.

Meanwhile, at Wal-Mart

BAY CITY, Mich.- A Michigan couple's engagement is off to a rocky start.

Police say a 25-year-old man proposed marriage to a 20-year-old woman at a Bay City Wal-Mart store in front of employees and other shoppers who congratulated them on Dec. 30.

But that same night, William Cornelius Jr. later was accused of shoplifting at a nearby store and arrested. Court records show the items included an edible thong and sex toy.

The Bay City Times, citing court records, reports his fiance admitted stolen jewelry was in her possession.

Cornelius was arraigned Tuesday on a misdemeanor charge. He couldn't be reached for comment Thursday. His fiance posted bond before she could be arraigned on any charges.

The newspaper says investigators confirmed Cornelius bought an engagement ring at Wal-Mart for $29.

TME If Wal-Mart just carried edible thongs, this wouldn't have been a problem.

Cat burglar

GREENSBURG, Pa.- State police say there may be a real cat burglar roaming one western Pennsylvania township.

In an unusual case out of Westmoreland County, police say a Hempfield Township man recently came home to find his residence tampered with - and one of his two cats missing.

Thirty-four-year-old Scott Nicolson tells KDKA-TV that whoever else entered his home turned off the thermostat. Nothing else in the residence was disturbed.

Nicolson says, 'I want my cat home. Failing that, I just want to know that he's safe.'

TME It's the purr-fect crime.

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