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Unbalanced checkbook

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MORRISTOWN, N.J. - A New Jersey man is suing his ex-wife, accusing her of harassing him by writing perceived insults like bum and loser on weekly alimony checks to him.

The Daily Record reports 61-year-old Francis Wagner's attorney filed suit last week against 57-year-old Diane Wagner. He contends he has suffered emotional distress and the memo line notes in the weekly $186 checks have intensified his health problems.

Diane Wagner, who is undergoing treatment for cancer, says she pays $744 a month to her ex-husband and says she can write anything she wants because it's a note to herself. She also says she pays him religiously.

The lawsuit is seeking unspecified compensation for emotional distress. Francis Wagner could not be reached for comment.

TME This is the rare case in which checking yourself results in wrecking yourself.

Rebel alliance

APPLE VALLEY, Minn.- The wedding venue for a Minnesota couple who just happen to be huge Star Wars fans could only include a big screen and a movie premiere.

While most came to the IMAX Theater in Apple Valley Thursday night to watch the highly anticipated 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens,' Anthony Nygren and Megan Thompson had another reason - to get married in front of the entire movie audience.

KARE-TV says that as the couple stood on stage, Nygren told his soon-to-be-bride that he promised to be faithful 'like Chewbacca to your Han Solo,' while Thompson promised to never to talk like Jar-Jar Binks. And after the vows were said and the rings exchanged, the minister in a Darth Vader costume had a likely blessing - 'may the force be with them always.'

TME I've got a bad feeling about this.

Larcenous list

ENCINITAS, Calif.- They were making a list but police say it was more naughty than nice.

The San Diego Union-Tribune says two probationers who were arrested in a car containing stolen packages Tuesday in Encinitas also had a 'to-do' list.

On it were the words: 'steal mail and shoplift.'

Their Dodge Charger was stopped after an Amazon.com delivery driver reported someone following his truck and picking up packages he dropped at homes.

Authorities say they found five stolen packages, drugs, methamphetamine, heroin, a gun and stolen mail addressed to 13 people.

Nineteen-year-old Kristina Green and 38-year-old Gary Withers of San Diego were arrested on suspicion of gun, drug and theft crimes. It's unclear if they have attorneys.

TME How else are they supposed to remember all the stealing they have to do?

Second time's the charm

ROCHESTER, Minn.- An Iowa television station was doing a live update on a Minnesota bank robbery when police say the suspect returned to rob it a second time.

KIMT-TV of Mason City, Iowa, was outside Sterling State Bank in Rochester on Tuesday when a bank employee ran out and pointed out the robbery suspect.

Reporter Adam Sallet broke away from the report, saying: 'I have to go. I have to call 911.'

The Post-Bulletin reports that police spotted the suspect's vehicle on U.S. Highway 52. Minnesota State Patrol says the 36-year-old Rochester man was pulled over south of Minneapolis and arrested.

Police Capt. John Sherwin says the man is suspected of robbing the bank two days in a row. In both robberies, the suspect presented a note and escaped with money.

TME That's what you call breaking news.

Indecent proposal

HOUSTON- Three days after his engagement on a Houston highway, a Houston man has turned himself in on a misdemeanor charge after video of his proposal went viral.

Vidal Valladares posted $500 bond Wednesday.

Valladares got down on one knee Sunday to propose - in the middle of Interstate 45 near downtown Houston. A video posted on Instagram shows his friends standing in front of traffic to clear the way.

He was charged Tuesday with obstruction of roadway. An affidavit posted by the Houston Chronicle says an off-duty Houston officer tried to get around the couple, and Valladares showed him the middle finger.

His attorney, Mark Thering, tells the newspaper Valladares and his fianc 'wish they can put this behind them and look forward to enjoying their engagement.'

TME Nothing more romantic than loud noises, car exhaust and rage.

Gate crasher

ALVA, Okla.- A man shown in a surveillance video crashing his pickup into the front desk of a northwestern Oklahoma hotel and nearly hitting two women is facing charges.

The Enid News and Eagle reports the incident happened last Thursday at Alva Comfort Inn and Suites after a bill dispute. Police say 62-year-old John Parsley of Gonzales, Texas, wanted a refund on two transactions.

Officer Wade Suffon says he offered to talk to a manager, but Parsley drove off and crashed into the hotel.

The video shows the truck back up after the initial hit and slam into the lobby again.

Parsley faces two felony counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and one count of malicious injury to property over $1,000. It's not clear whether he has an attorney.

TME He'd rather go to prison than spend 11 bucks on that tiny bag of cashews.

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