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September 19, 2012

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YORK, Pa. - Police are searching for a spelling-challenged vandal who hit a central Pennsylvania woman's car with paint over the weekend.

York police say a woman reported Saturday morning that her sport-utility vehicle had been sprayed with white paint. On the driver's side doors an unknown perpetrator had scrawled 'bicth.'

Investigators say the woman also reported a motorcycle was stolen from her property. It was later recovered in Spring Garden Township.

The York Dispatch reports police are seeking information on the motorcycle and the poorly spelled graffiti.

TME What the heck is a 'bicth'? This woman is a big idoit.

A NASCAR fan is born

LOUDON, N.H. - A New Hampshire woman and her baby are doing fine after the woman gave birth in the New Hampshire Motor Speedway parking lot.

Shawna Arnold began going into labor Friday and she and her boyfriend began driving to a hospital. But when she realized she was about to give birth on the way, they made a pit stop at the racetrack parking lot in Loudon.

Arnold tells WMUR-TV that she and her boyfriend delivered the baby, named Katie, in their car. An EMT at the track then came to help, and the couple and the baby were taken to a hospital.

Speedway General Manager Jerry Gappens has awarded the baby two tickets to NASCAR races for the rest of her life.

TME That kid's just lucky she didn't wind up named Earnhardt. Or Busch.

The perfect crime

NEW CASTLE, Del. - Police in Delaware have arrested a man they say stole his own truck out of a repair shop lot using a front-end loader.

Delaware police say they were called early Friday to the Stop-N-Go in New Castle after a 1999 Chevrolet Silverado pickup went missing. Surveillance tapes showed a front-end loader with fork lifts attached driving away with the vehicle.

The repair shop owner then called the vehicle's owner, 30-year-old Donald Smith II of Bear. Police said Smith, whose vehicle was being held because he had defaulted on a payment he owed for repairs, called back to say he had taken the truck using a front-end loader.

Troopers spotted Smith operating the front end loader and gave chase. A 35-minute pursuit ended with Smith driving into a retention pond.

TME Yo dog! We hear you like trucks, so we put a truck on your truck so you can truck while you truck!

Concurrent sentences

OKLAHOMA CITY - A judge sentenced an Oklahoma man to four years in federal prison on a firearm charge - then minutes later performed a marriage ceremony to wed the new inmate and his longtime girlfriend.

Thursday was a busy day for Larry Austin and Dustie Trojack. First they obtained their marriage license, then Austin pleaded guilty to the firearm charge and was sentenced by Oklahoma County Judge Jerry Bass. Shortly afterward, Bass married the happy couple, who kissed before federal authorities whisked Austin away.

Austin's attorney, Scott M. Anderson, tells The Oklahoman that Austin had helped to raise Trojack's two sons and he didn't want to lose contact with them while he was serving time.

TME Talk about the old ball and chain.

Ice cream interest

PITTSBURGH - State regulators are cool on a Pittsburgh businessman's idea for a bank that pays interest in ice cream shop gift cards.

The Pennsylvania Department of Banking says they want Ethan Clay to shut down the community bank he's set up at Oh Yeah! ice cream and coffee shop.

Clay says he was motivated by unpleasant bank experiences to provide a simplified community bank offering savings accounts, check-cashing and loans. He calls the venture Whalebone Cafe Bank.

Clay tells the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette he's not subject to the usual banking rules because his 'bank' is actually a gift card program that pays out its 5.5 percent monthly interest in a made-up currency that can be used at his store.

Regulators are unmoved. Banking department spokesman Ed Novak says if Clay doesn't close down 'he will be hearing from the district attorney.'

TME Saving money has never been so sweet.

Another roadside attraction

UNIONTOWN, Pa. - A southwestern Pennsylvania woman has been jailed on charges she was flagging down motorists and offering to take off her clothes for cash.

Online court records don't list an attorney for 35-year-old Jackie Hatter, of Uniontown. She remained jailed Wednesday unable to post $25,000 bond.

The Herald-Standard of Uniontown reports Hatter was arrested about 8:40 a.m. Sunday and charged with disorderly conduct and marijuana possession. Police say they were told she was stopping cars to offer the striptease at an intersection in the city about 40 miles south of Pittsburgh.

Police say Hatter was mumbling incoherently and fighting with officers.

A preliminary hearing on the charges has yet to be scheduled.

TME We've long believed that nothing improves a morning commute quite like a deranged stripper.

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