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September 12, 2012

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Borough councilman beef

MOUNT JEWETT, Pa. - Two borough councilmen from northwestern Pennsylvania are sparring over an alleged spoof of country music star Toby Keith's hit song ``Red Solo Cup.''

The Bradford Era reports Monday that Mount Jewett Councilman Jim Troutman wants fellow councilman Brett Morgan to resign. That's because Troutman claims Morgan changed the lyrics to the song during the town's annual Swedish Festival last month to make an allegedly insulting reference to Troutman's trash-hauling business, Troutman Sanitation.

Morgan didn't immediately return a call to respond to Troutman's claim that Morgan substituted the words ``Red Roll-Off Truck'' _ an alleged reference to a kind of garbage truck _ while on stage at the festival Aug. 10.

The song celebrates disposable cups commonly used at drinking parties.

The newspaper says the councilmen have long been rivals in the borough about 115 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.

TME Nobody fusses and/or feuds like minor elected officials.

Dialing Bad

LEWISTON, Idaho - An Idaho man apparently trying to get the most bang for his drug-purchasing buck accidentally texted a narcotics detective while he searched for people to join him in a methamphetamine buy.

Police in Lewiston arrested 37-year-old Aaron D. Templeton Wednesday on suspicion of conspiracy to deliver methamphetamine.

Court records say one of the police detectives received a text Wednesday morning asking if he knew anyone looking for drugs. After determining it wasn't his co-workers playing a joke, the detective arranged to meet the man to deliver $150 that would be pooled with money from other buyers to enable a bulk purchase of meth.

Templeton was arrested when he arrived at the designated meeting place.

Police say it all started with a wrong number.

TME So he narced on himself? Manhe better not still be around when he gets out.

Fowl language

WARWICK, R.I. - A Rhode Island woman has been accused by her neighbor of violating an animal noise ordinance by training her cockatoo to cuss.

The Providence Journal reports that Lynne Taylor is accused in Warwick municipal court of training her cockatoo, Willy, to say expletives.

The bird then allegedly aimed them at her neighbors, who happen to be Taylor's ex-husband and his girlfriend.

A municipal judge on Thursday denied Taylor's request to dismiss the case.

Her neighbors, Kathleen Melker and Craig Fontaine, say they have been subjected to repeated curses from the bird, at one point for 15 minutes at a time.

The animal noise ordinance imposes a small fine on any pet owner whose animal creates habitual noise.

A judge has issued restraining orders telling both women to have no contact.

TME If teaching cockatoos to curse is outlawed, only outlaws will teach cockatoos to curse.

Deli disturbance

DICKSON CITY, Pa. - A bag of stolen cold cuts has landed a northeastern Pennsylvania man in the cooler.

Police say Leonard Taylor broke into a Dickson City deli, made himself a sandwich then took off with a bag of cold cuts and cash on Thursday.

Officers say they saw an intoxicated Taylor sitting on the steps of a demolished home and counting money. He told police he'd been asked to hold the bag of deli meat by a couple who bummed a cigarette from him.

The Times-Tribune of Scranton reports Taylor was arrested after police say they checked a nearby deli and found signs of a break-in. Police say a receipt found with the meat linked the money to the deli.

Court records don't list an attorney for Taylor.

TME 'Where'd you get that bag of meat?' 'Somebody asked me to hold it for them.' Brilliant.

Bowling for dollars

WINDBER, Penn. - Police in the U.S. say a western Pennsylvania man's toilet theft scam didn't end with a clean getaway.

Thirty-two-year-old Bobby Clifford Smith III faces theft and related charges for allegedly exchanging a toilet he didn't buy for gift cards at a Somerset County home improvement store.

State police say Smith, of Windber, entered the store on Aug. 28, grabbed a toilet from a shelf and immediately went to the return line to exchange it for more than $600 in gift cards.

Investigators say surveillance footage from the store captured the entire episode.

The Johnstown Tribune-Democrat reports Smith was arraigned Tuesday and held on $30,000 bail. Court records don't list an attorney for him.

TME He should have at least pooped in it first for verisimilitude.

Aware of the chair

GLENDALE, Calif. - These days, wherever you see Clint Eastwood, an empty chair is sure to follow. Even if you're on a hike.

A life-sized cutout of a cowboy Eastwood has stood on a trail overlooking a Southern California freeway for months, but on Tuesday a pair of chairs were next to him, one also a cardboard cutout, the other an actual wooden chair.

They're a clear reference to Eastwood's interaction with an imaginary President Obama in an empty chair at the Republican National Convention last week.

Eastwood and the chair have fueled a social media meme that's shown no signs of slowing.

An artist erected the cutouts of Eastwood and other Hollywood western heroes along the trail in Glendale, but it's not clear where the chairs came from.

TME The guy was Dirty Harry, folks; do we *really* want to antagonize him?

Last modified on Wednesday, 12 September 2012 11:58


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