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May 16, 2012

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You can't park here!

LA PUENTE, Calif. - The Diaz family awoke to find a Lexus at the bottom of their swimming pool.

The Southern California family tells the San Gabriel Valley Tribune that drivers navigating the tricky intersection next to their house in La Puente have hit their cinderblock wall before, but early Sunday one of them smashed right through it in his silver sedan, then sank into the pool. A crane later fished out the 2006 Lexus.

California Highway Patrol officer Steve Licon says the driver - 40-year-old Modesto Cabral - was able to escape from the car through the passenger side window and had only minor injuries.

Jail records show he was booked on suspicion of drunken driving and was being held on $10,000 bail. It is not clear whether he's hired an attorney.

TME You use this term 'car pool' we do not think it means what you think it means.

28 roosters later

GENEVA TOWNSHIP, Mich. - A rooster was quarantined after attacking an 83-year-old woman who was visiting a loved one's grave at a southwestern Michigan cemetery.

The rooster was one of two bothering the Spring Lake woman and her 53-year-old daughter at Chambers Cemetery in Geneva Township on Thursday, MLive.com reported. The women retreated to their vehicle and called 911.

Sheriff's Sgt. David Walker said the rooster 'drew blood' from the older woman's lower leg, and she refused treatment at the scene.

Authorities later found the roosters' owner next door to the cemetery, which is in Van Buren County. Walker said the owner caught both birds and will quarantine the attacker for 10 days.

It's not the first time the rooster has gone after a cemetery visitor. Township Supervisor Nancy Whaley said she was attacked by the same bird a few weeks ago while checking on a grave site.

'Then I turned around to go back to the car and he attacked my leg,' Whaley said. 'I screamed at him.'

TME The zombie roosterpocalypse is upon us!

Stray spray

MIDDLETOWN, Conn. - Officials say a fire alarm that went off at a Connecticut high school was activated by a student's 'overabundance' of body spray in a locker room.

Firefighters were called to Middletown High School shortly after 3 p.m. Thursday.

Officials told The Middletown Press that the student used an excessive amount of the scented spray and created a cloud of mist right below a heat sensor, which tripped the fire alarm.

Firefighters allowed students and teachers to return to the building shortly after arriving.

Officials deemed the call a 'routine accidental.'

TME Who knew that fire alarms had a d-bag setting?

One wheel, no pants

KEMAH, Texas - Police say a man arrested in a Southeast Texas city for riding his unicycle in the nude was distracting drivers and creating a hazard.

Kemah police Chief Greg Rikard says 45-year-old Joseph Glynn Farley was not intoxicated or impaired when he was arrested Wednesday on a bridge in the city 20 miles southeast of Houston.

Rikard says Farley had been falling off the unicycle and into traffic.

Farley told officers that he liked the feeling of riding without his clothes, which were found at the base of the bridge.

Police charged Farley, of Clear Lake, with misdemeanor indecent exposure. Bond is set at $1,500.

Online jail records did not list an attorney for Farley.

TME Try not to think of what may have gotten tangled in the spokes.

Valedictorian = Participant

OCALA, Fla. - There won't be just one valedictorian at Ocala's Vanguard High School. This year, there could be 25.

As the countdown begins to the June 8 graduation, school officials say the students are on pace to earn all As in college-level courses, earning 5.0 weighted GPAs.

It's not the first time Vanguard has had multiple valedictorians. There were 11 last year.

The only issue facing school officials is deciding who will deliver the valedictorian speech at the graduation ceremony.

The 25 candidates were asked to submit a speech to a committee, which will select a winner later this month.

The Ocala Star-Banner reports Vanguard won't name a salutatorian this year.

TME How is this not a fight-to-the-death scenario? Way to drop the ball, Ocala.

What's in a name?

YORK, Neb. - A 23-year-old southeast Nebraska man has legally become Tyrannosaurus Rex.

The York News-Times reports that the man entered the York County courtroom on Monday as Tyler Gold and left it with the moniker Tyrannosaurus Rex Joseph Gold.

Gold says in his public filing for the change that the dinosaur's name is cooler. He says that 'as an entrepreneur, name recognition is important and the new name is more recognizable.' The newspaper report does not describe his line of business.

Judge Alan Gless asked Gold at Monday's hearing whether he wanted a new name so he could hide from creditors or law enforcement. Gold said no.

Gless noted that Gold had gone through the proper legal channels for changing his name, so the judge granted Gold's request.

TME Next up, he'll be starring in 'Jurassic Trailer Park.'

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