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January 30, 2013

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Funeral fit for a King

YORK, Pa. - A Pennsylvania fast-food fan had one whopper of a funeral.

Family members say David Kime 'lived by his own rules' so it's only fitting he'd have it his way on the way to the cemetery.

The hearse carrying the 88-year-old York man led his funeral procession through a Burger King drive-thru for one last sandwich Saturday.

The York Daily Record reports one sandwich was placed atop his flag-draped coffin at the cemetery.

Daughter Linda Phiel said it was a happy way of honoring her father and the things that brought him joy.

Restaurant manager Margaret Hess and her crew made 40 burgers for the funeral procession. She says it's nice to know Kime was a loyal customer until 'the very end.'

TME That's a guy who took 'have it your way' very seriously.

21st century problems

SAN FRANCISCO - San Francisco's animal control agency is relying on donations to solve an unforeseen problem in the digital age - a shortage of newspapers needed for potty training puppies.

It seems digital newspaper subscriptions and smartphones have cut the once abundant supplies of old newsprint.

Animal Care & Control has been relying on public contributions and San Francisco Chronicle donations to line the cages of shelter puppies that still aren't trained.

Now, the San Francisco Public Library is donating old newspapers to make sure the shelter has a consistent paper stream.

Animal control will pick up the newspapers twice a month.

TME Please note that The Maine Edge is great for peeing on.

Tricked by a trick

SALEM, Ore. - Authorities say a 20-year-old Portland woman drove 50 miles to reach the man she thought was her client after being solicited for prostitution through phone and text messages.

But there was something unusual about the destination: It was the Salem Police Department.

Stranger still, police say the woman walked past several uniformed officers and clearly marked signs reading 'Salem Police Department' before arriving at an unmarked door, where they say she attempted to contact the man she thought was her client.

Instead, she was arrested. The phone and text messages were part of a sting operation by Salem police detectives, who first identified the woman through a website.

The Jan. 11 arrest led to charges of prostitution and promoting prostitution for Christal D. Smith of Portland.

An attorney for Smith couldn't be found Thursday afternoon.

TME If nothing else, we should admire her single-minded devotion to duty.

The rising tide of crime

DENVER - Authorities are hoping suspects come clean following a rash of thefts of laundry detergent and expensive face lotion across Colorado.

KCNC-TV reported on Wednesday that supermarkets are installing more surveillance cameras to combat the rising tide of thefts. They are also hiring undercover agents.

Authorities believe thieves are targeting those products because of high prices.

Police have surveillance video of a suspect in Ft. Lupton getting away with more than $8,000 of detergent from six different stores.

Detergent thefts have also been reported in other parts of the country. Tide in particular has been used as currency for drugs. Experts say it is well-suited for resale on the black market.

TME Just don't mix the two up heroin does a poor job of whitening your whites.

Trapped in the (water) closet

DES MOINES, Iowa - Des Moines officers have rescued a woman who was trapped more than four hours in an office restroom at the Iowa Democratic Party headquarters.

Party spokesman Michael Hunt told The Des Moines Register that the restroom door locked and the mechanism seemed to break after she closed it. No one else was in the office Monday, so there was no one to hear her cries for help.

Her husband called police because he couldn't reach her after he saw her car in the lot and a light on inside the building.

Officers knocked on windows and doors outside until they heard someone yelling 'Help me!' They kicked in a glass exterior door and then the restroom door.

She's declined to speak publicly about her ordeal.

TME We look forward to R. Kelly composing a 47-part hip-hopera about this woman.

Meanwhile, in Oslo

OSLO, Norway - A road tunnel in northern Norway will be shut for several weeks after a 27-ton truckload of sweet goat's milk cheese caught fire.

Regional traffic department chief Geir Joergensen says flames engulfed the tunnel last week and gases from the melting, brown load hindered firefighters. It took four days to put it out.

The driver was not hurt and no other vehicles were in the 3.6-kilometer (2.2-mile) tunnel at the time.

Joergensen said Wednesday that the tunnel near the small Arctic municipality of Tysfjord, some 1,350 kilometers (840 miles) north of the capital, Oslo, likely will be closed for two more weeks.

Goat's milk cheese, a sweet delicacy with a high sugar and fat content, is an essential part of many Norwegians' daily diet.

TME Who knew goat cheese was flammable?

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