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December 5, 2012

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Worst. Driving instructor. Ever.

MONACA, Pa. - It's a driving lesson that went awry in more ways than one.

The Beaver County Times reports 26-year-old Bobbie Jo Gacesa of Monaca was charged Friday with multiple counts stemming from an Oct. 26 crash.

Pennsylvania State Police said Gacesa was teaching a teenage girl to drive when the teen's foot slipped from the brake to the gas pedal and the minivan jumped a curb and struck a building.

Investigators said Gacesa's license had been suspended after a drunken-driving conviction and her vehicle's registration and inspection sticker were expired. They also said the girl didn't have a learner's permit.

Police said the duo also fled the scene but a trail of leaking fluid led right to the damaged van. It allegedly had license plates that belonged to another vehicle.

TME She was just some text messages and a meth binge away from completing the set.

What? No Dasher?

WASHINGTON, Penn. - Spectators who came to watch horses at a western Pennsylvania racetrack got a surprise this week when three deer got onto the course first and beat the horses to racing.

According to KDKA-TV, a race was about to begin Wednesday night at the Meadows Racetrack in Washington County when the deer jumped onto the track.

Race announcer Roger Huston didn't miss a beat. He began calling the race as it unfolded, saying things like: 'As they race down the track, Bambi has the lead. Here comes Rudolph from the outside.'

The deer ran fast but kept changing directions. At one point, they appeared headed to the paddock, where the horses were being held.

Several minutes into the show, the deer decided to leave the track to the horses.

Huston says Bambi won the race.

TME Bambi, Rudolph if he named the third one John, this dude is our new hero.

If at first you don't succeed

HAZLETON, Pa. - Authorities in northeastern Pennsylvania are looking for a man caught twice on surveillance video trying to break into a judge's office.

State Superior Court Judge Correale Stevens jokes that he can't understand why someone would want to break into his office, unless he wants to know how long he's going to be in jail.

WNEP-TV reports that during the man's second attempt to force open the door, he was carrying a television stolen from a business office downstairs. A woman can be seen in the background.

The judge says there is a doctor's office in the building and theorizes the burglar might have been looking for drugs.

Stevens is showing the video to magistrate judges to see if they recognize the man.

TME That is a man determined to chase his dreams. His stupid, stupid dreams.

About face!

MICHIGAN CITY, Ind. - A northern Indiana man who had the Mitt Romney-Paul Ryan campaign logo tattooed onto his face 'to make politics fun' says it's time for it to come off.

Eric Hartsburg of Michigan City, Ind., says he plans to have the red-and-blue 'R' removed from its prominent place next to his right eye.

He says a Republican supporter paid him $15,000 to get the tattoo and keep it until at least the election was over.

Weeks after President Barack Obama defeated the former Massachusetts governor in the Nov. 6 election, Hartsburg says 'now to me it represents not a losing campaign, but a sore losing campaign.'

Hartsburg says he reached out to the Romney campaign about the tattoo, but feels snubbed that no campaign staffer ever contacted him.

TME Who would have thought you could regret getting a facial tattoo?

Hakuna matata

MOSCOW - Most primary school classes get a goldfish to keep, a hamster or a turtle if they're lucky _ but children from one village in southern Russia got to play with a lion cub.

Children in the Rostov region found the 5-month old cub on the steppe Wednesday and brought it to their teacher, who kept it in the school gym, police said Thursday.

While waiting for police, children petted and played with the cub, named Barsik. One boy even tried to ride it like a horse while it mewled and swiped at the air.

The cub had escaped from a car on the way to a zoo in Dagestan in the North Caucasus. It has now been removed from the school and placed in a local zoo.

TME How else are these kids going to learn about the circle of life?

What's the punchline?

NEW YORK - New York City can be like a zoo sometimes, but a zebra running wild through the streets is not something you ordinarily see.

The Staten Island Advance reports a zebra and a miniature horse were spotted trotting through a shopping center parking lot Wednesday morning in Staten Island.

Metropolitan Drape & Blind owner Zachary Osher saw the runaway equines and shared his video with the newspaper. He says the animals ran down a street and narrowly escaped being hit by a car. He says two men in dark suits ran after them with lassoes.

A police spokesman says the animals were corralled and returned to a petting zoo.

TME Pixar has already acquired the rights to this story. Chris Rock is attached.

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