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August 28, 2013

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Weird National Briefs Weird National Briefs

That wascally waccoon!

NEW HAVEN, Conn. - Police in Connecticut say an 81-year-old man who was lying in wait with a rifle for a pesky raccoon accidentally shot himself after sneezing and falling from a chair.

New Haven police say James Pace Sr. shot himself in the shin at his home Saturday night. The injury wasn't life-threatening.

Pace told authorities that a raccoon had been scratching at his back door for several days and he was waiting for it with a .22-caliber rifle. Police say he sneezed and fell from his chair, then realized he had accidentally shot himself.

Pace's son drove him to Yale-New Haven Hospital.

Police detectives seized the rifle and are investigating the incident.

TME Seriously try and tell us this guy's not a real-life Elmer Fudd.

Send in the clowns

LANCASTER, Pa. - If the key to a long marriage is laughter, these clowns are set.

Billy Tedeski and Patty Kulwicki tied the knot Friday at an annual clown festival in central Pennsylvania.

The (Harrisburg) Patriot-News reports Kulwicki literally reeled Tedeski in to start the ceremony _ a bit the Pittsburgh couple had performed at Clownfest two years ago. 

Tedeski wore a fake nose, black lipstick and full clown regalia as he exchanged vows with Kulwicki at the festival in Lancaster. The bride wore the same dress she'd used in the skit two years ago, plus a lace headband to go along with her flame-red wig.

Guests got in on the act and so did the officiant, a fellow clown. Tedeski says his fellow clowns are more than friends, they're family.

TME The entire wedding party showed up in a single Volkswagen.

Monkey business

BATTLE CREEK, Mich. - Police in the Michigan city of Battle Creek have advised a woman that she shouldn't expect to see a monkey, or her money.

The Battle Creek Enquirer reports a 25-year-old woman contacted police Tuesday to report she lost $350 trying to buy a monkey from the African country of Cameroon.

The woman says she and her roommate found what they thought was a reputable website and received pictures and information about monkeys.

The so-called seller offered the monkey for $50. She sent it but received no simian.

After more back and forth, the woman shelled out $300 in two more payments but her contact wanted more money for a cage, license and shots.

Authorities smell a scam and say they are trying to gather her contact information.

TME If you can't trust monkey dealers you find on the internet, who can you trust?

Munchie memorabilia

SEATTLE - A few eBay users are seeing a money-making opportunity in the free bags of chips that were given out by police over the weekend at Seattle's pot festival known as Hempfest.

An unopened Doritos bag from Hempfest had drawn eight bids by Monday afternoon, pushing the price to $58. One bag listed as ``used'' was fetching $50.

The nacho-cheese-flavored Doritos were a popular topic surrounding the event because Seattle police distributed them for free along with stickers designed to inform pot consumers about the state's legal pot law.

Officers handed out only 1,000 bags of chips at an event that draws as many as 85,000 people per day.

TME Fifty bucks for a bag of Doritos? What are you, high?

That'll do, pig

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - To serve and protect is a common police motto. In western Michigan, it extends even to pigs.

Grand Rapids police say they rescued a 6-month-old pig named Ramone on Thursday. The pet got away from his home in the city's Eastown neighborhood and approached Officer Jeremy Huffman.

Huffman put the porker in the back seat of a squad car. Grand Rapids police posted a picture on its Facebook page, where it's received more than 1,000 ``likes'' and more than 100 comments.

Please hold the jokes. The department says it's heard them all.

TME Self-awareness and appreciation of irony are keys to joining the GRPD.

Meanwhile, in Vermont

WINDSOR, Vt. - Windsor officials say a pile of goat manure spontaneously caught fire, spreading stench and wrinkling noses through the Vermont town but causing no damage.

Town Manager Tom Marsh says the odor that followed the fire evoked ``a damp kind of burning leaves or brush fire.''

The Valley News reports 120 cubic yards of goat manure spontaneously combusted at the 800-goat Oak Knoll Dairy early Wednesday morning, erupting into small flames and spreading an odor that both perplexed and amused people.

Farm owner George Redick says the manure would typically have been spread around the farm earlier in the year, but the rainy season and other factors kept that from happening.

He says he used to think spontaneous combustion was a myth, but now he's a believer.

TME Thus the legend of the Great Goat Poop Fire of 2013 was born.

Last modified on Tuesday, 27 August 2013 21:10

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