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August 15, 2012

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What's the buzz?

NEW YORK - A vibrator giveaway that attracted long lines for 10,000 free sex toys came to an abrupt end when New York City told the promoters to pack it up.

The Trojan condom company set up 'Pleasure Carts' on Wednesday in two Manhattan neighborhoods. Nearly 300 people had lined up at each of the hot dog-style carts.

According to the New York Post newspaper, a city representative told the promoters to shut down because of crowds.

One of those on line, Melody Henry, grumbled that Mayor Michael Bloomberg 'doesn't want anyone to have fun.'

The city says the promotional event could resume at a later date with proper permits.

TME No word on when the replacement Neck Massager Carts' will hit the streets.

Shipping misfire

WASHINGTON - A Washington musician who ordered a flat-screen TV from was shocked to receive a semiautomatic assault rifle instead.

Thirty-eight-year-old Seth Horvitz says he purchased the 39-inch television from a third-party seller. A box arrived from UPS on Tuesday evening, and it seemed much too small to contain the TV. He says he initially thought it contained accessories.

But when he opened it, he found a Sig Sauer military-style rifle. He says he had never held a gun before he felt the trigger of the rifle.

An invoice showed that the gun was intended for delivery to a firearms dealer in Duncansville, Pa. Horvitz called police, who took the gun and are investigating how the mistaken shipment occurred. Amazon and UPS had no immediate comment.

TME To be fair, with his new assault rifle, that guy could go and get pretty much any TV he wanted.

911 is (not) a joke

COLUMBIA, Tenn. - When you're out of beer and need a ride to get some, who you gonna' call?

Not 911.

The Columbia Daily Herald reported city police arrested a 67-year-old man after he allegedly called emergency dispatchers at least nine times Saturday. Most of the calls were hang-ups, but a dispatcher said at least once, the caller asked if someone could send him a ride so he could buy beer.

Police Officer Seneca Shield said he told Allen Troy Brooks that if he cooperated, he would just receive a citation. But authorities said Brooks denied making calls and claimed he didn't have a telephone. Brooks was arrested and charged with making 911 calls in a non-emergency situation. He was released on bond.

A phone number listed for Brooks was out of service on Monday and no attorney was listed in court records.

TME The man was out of Schlitz! Beer emergencies are still emergencies, people.

Undies + microwave = fire

LONDON - Note to self: A microwave is for leftovers, not your boxers.

British firefighters say they saved an apartment from destruction after its domestically challenged resident tried to dry his wet socks and underwear in a microwave oven.

The Dorset Fire and Rescue Service says firefighters rescued the man from his home and extinguished the kitchen blaze Monday.

The fire destroyed the appliance along with the two pairs of underwear and socks inside it, and caused smoke damage to the apartment in Weymouth, a town on England's southwest coast.

'The fire safety message here is to never put clothing of any kind in the microwave or an oven to attempt to dry them,' the Dorset firefighters said in a statement.

TME And now all of his Hot Pockets are going to smell even more like feet.

A sticky situation

AUSTIN, Texas - An unwanted, sticky glaze showing up in Central Texas has been blamed on recently rains and what bugs leave behind.

Austin arborist Michael Embesi says the culprits are aphids.

He told the Austin American-Stateman, for a story Sunday, that a spike in aphids and their excrement is probably related to July rains that contributed to unusual new leaf growth. The insects eat leaves and excrete indigestible bits as the sugar-water-like honeydew.

Mike Merchant, who's an urban entomologist with Texas AgriLife Extension Service, said honeydew can lead to mold on plants.

Experts say homeowners can spray leaves with water for a few minutes, several days a week, to knock aphids off. Other steps include using insecticidal soaps or horticultural oils.

TME And the lesson here is? That's right - aphid poop is gross. The more you know

Kids today

COLUMBUS, Ohio - A four-day Xbox gaming marathon apparently was too much for one 15-year-old Ohio boy.

WCMH-TV reports that the Columbus teen collapsed and was hospitalized Tuesday after becoming severely dehydrated. His mother says he emerged from his bedroom during the four days only to pick up snacks or take a quick shower.

The boy was so engrossed in playing Modern Warfare 3 on Xbox that he made himself sick.

He's expected to be OK - but his mom has taken away the Xbox.

Dr. Mike Patrick, an emergency physician at Nationwide Children's Hospital, recommended that gamers use some common sense: Get plenty of food and fluids, take breaks for physical activity and get some sleep.

TME We're sure taking the Xbox away will fix everything.


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