Posted by

Allen Adams Allen Adams
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

edge staff writer


Loving lists

Rate this item
(2 votes)

Some top-fives in honor of Valentine's Day

With Valentine's Day upon us, we thought that rather than just offer up the standard blah-blah, we might instead share with you some assorted thoughts about love and the holiday.

The following are lists of things that are more-or-less connected to Valentine's Day or pop culture's portrayals of love, at the very least. We've got drink ideas and gift no-nos, as well as a glimpse at a few bests and worsts in entertainment's takes on romance.



5 Terrible Valentine's Day Gift Ideas

5. Generic greeting card featuring canned, impersonal sentiment

We're talking about someone you love here, you know? Perhaps it would be appropriate to find a way to express your feelings to that someone. No one's saying you have to pen some sort of epic love poem, but a few words of your own will say far more than even the most well-crafted greeting card. Cards are fine, but maybe try to find one that fits your relationship. Then, take some time to write out how you feel. So much better.

4. Homemade coupon for something you should probably already be doing

This one is tricky, because sometimes the whole coupon thing can be cute. However, make sure that the coupon is for something that could reasonably be considered special. Giving a loved one pieces of paper that offer the promise that you'll occasionally do something that you ought to do anyway is just gauche. They should be treats, not attempts at making your everyday tasks seem special.

3. Something you want for yourself

This should be self-explanatory, but let's spell it out anyway: buying something that you want and passing it off as a gift for someone else is unacceptable. It's not like you're fooling anybody anyway do you really think that your significant other can't see through this? When you show up pretending like this thing off your personal wish list is a gift for someone who now has to pretend that they like it, it's demeaning to you both.

2. Fake flowers

You're not a barbarian, and your loved one is likely not decorating a doctor's office. Fake plants manage to make you look both lazy and inconsiderate at the same time. It seriously shouldn't have to be said, but you just know that someone out there honestly believes that buying fake flowers is a perfect plan.

1. The same lame crap you wound up buying at the last minute last year

Don't say we didn't warn you.


5 Valentine's Day Cocktails

5. Lover's Paradise


1.5 oz Godiva chocolate liqueur

1.5 oz Frangelico

0.5 oz dry white rum



Add chocolate liqueur, Frangelico and rum to a cocktail shaker. Fill halfway with ice and then shake for approximately eight seconds. Strain the cocktail into a glass and garnish with chocolate shavings.

4. Whiskey Kiss


0.75 oz whiskey

0.75 oz B and B liqueur

0.75 oz Yellow Chartreuse

0.5 oz lemon juice

2 dashes bitters


Combine ingredients in cocktail shaker. Shake until shaker surface is cold to the touch. Strain into a glass and garnish as you see fit.

3. Cupid's Arrow


1 oz vodka

0.5 oz peach schnapps

0.5 oz sour mix

0.25 oz grenadine



Add ingredients one by one over ice, stirring as you go. Top off with 7-Up and garnish with a cherry.

2. Midnight Lover


0.75 oz Blue Curacao

0.75 oz gin

0.75 oz lemon juice

0.25 oz grenadine


Add Blue Curacao, gin and lemon juice to a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a cocktail glass. Add the grenadine and serve.

1. Sweetheart


1 oz vodka

1 oz Aperol

1 oz cranberry juice

0.25 oz limoncello

0.25 oz lemon juice

3 whole cranberries


Fill a cocktail shaker with ice cubes. Add all ingredients. Shake and strain into a highball glass. Garnish with more cranberries.


5 Worst Shakespearean Boyfriends

5. Paris, 'Romeo and Juliet'

This is probably unfair to one of Shakespeare's forgotten sons, but what were we going to do? Put Romeo in here? As if. Anyway, Paris is largely a non-factor in that tale of star-crossed lovers, though he does do his part to muck everything up by killing Tybalt and getting killed by Romeo. Seems like he was an all-right dude, but you can't get in the way of fate.

4. Bottom, 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'

Nick Bottom's biggest problem is that he is both figuratively and (briefly) literally an ass. He's smug and smarmy and not nearly as fly as he believes himself to be. The only reason he gets to get down with Titania is thanks to creepy passive-aggressive shenanigans on the part of Oberon (who'd definitely be on a Worst Husbands list). Plus, again ass.

3. Petruchio, 'The Taming of the Shrew'

Yes, Petruchio and Katherine wind up married in the end, but is that really a good thing? Their entire relationship is built on a foundation of mutual loathing followed by her deciding to subjugate herself to the whims of a guy who is a jerk at best and unstable at worst. He throws stuff and talks trash and is generally just kind of a d-bag. In the end, is there any doubt that Katherine could do better?

2. Demetrius/Lysander, 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'

These two nozzles get lumped together for obvious reasons. You've got the one guy Demetrius who was all into Helena for a hot second before deciding that he'd much rather be with her friend Hermia, despite the fact that Hermia wants to be with Lysander. Of course, Lysander, rather than dealing with the situation like an adult, takes off running into the woods with Hermia. Tweedledee and Tweedle-demetrius then commence to fight over Hermia and then Helena and then they all wind up married because Shakespeare. Fickle, easily-swayed idiots, the both of them.

1. Hamlet, 'Hamlet'

Treats his lady kind of poorly, then goes crazy and treats her really poorly, to the point of driving her insane as well. Dear, sweet Ophelia no dude is worth this kind of trouble. Maybe take a swing at Rosencrantz and/or Guildenstern those guys seem to have it pretty much together.


5 Best Movie Kisses

5. Rhett (Clark Gable) and Scarlett (Vivian Leigh), 'Gone With the Wind'

Visually striking and iconic.

4. Sam (Molly Ringwald) and Jake (Mike Schoeffling), 'Sixteen Candles'

Sweet and uplifting and utterly Hughes-ian.

3. Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher), 'The Empire Strikes Back'

'I love you.' 'I know.' Gold.

2. Rick (Humphrey Bogart) and Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman), 'Casablanca'

Epitomizes the tough guy sacrificing in the name of love.

1. Westley (Cary Elwes) and Buttercup (Robin Wright), 'The Princess Bride'

Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.

(Honorable mentions: Lady and the Tramp, 'Lady and the Tramp'; Milton and Karen, 'From Here to Eternity')

Last modified on Tuesday, 10 February 2015 18:44


The Maine Edge. All rights reserved. Privacy policy. Terms & Conditions.

Website CMS and Development by Links Online Marketing, LLC, Bangor Maine