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Katy England Katy England
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Playing tricks on myself

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I need to write things down. I need to write things down in various places, at various times and in ways that ensure I see them more than once. It isn't a matter of maybe forgetting I will forget. Forgetting is the only constant in my life and I need a million reminders, double- and triple-blinds so I can remember to do some fairly basic things.

It's embarrassing.

For example, if I have to get groceries after work, I need to have a list (many people do this). But I also need to drive in a certain way or I will forget to get off at the right exit. When I drive in through town, I end up face-to-face with my preferred supermarket and will have an 'Oh, right I need to go grocery shopping moment.' This happens way too often.

But even with things I enjoy, like going out with friends, I have to give myself constant reminders to go to their house, or reminders that they are coming to mine.

Say I schedule an interview at a time that is a little wonky early morning on a Saturday, for instance. In order for me to remember, I have to set a reminder on my Google Calendar for the evening before. Then again for that morning. I also leave a note on my door (first thing I see when I come down the stairs). If I fear that isn't enough, I may do some staging. I'll pack my laptop and work accoutrements and leave them next to the door.

The day I'm writing this is a Friday. I have ordered pizza at a restaurant that is on my way home. Using skills I learned in the dim halls of my high school, I wrote it on my hand. Classy.

And every time I think I'm doing well, that I'm somehow getting to the point where I have at least a majority of my brain capacity back, I'll forget something really big. Something that goes beyond me and a couple of close friends who are familiar with my many failings and love me anyway. Something that I have to apologize and reschedule numerous things for.

Like your daughter's eye appointment that you scheduled six months ago, but forgot to put in your calendar because you were juggling a 2-year-old, a purse, a backpack full of diapers, changes of clothes, snacks and more. And then you have to reschedule the interviews you had booked on Friday because that's the only day you can go anywhere and still have coverage for the other two kids.

So. Yeah. Humble pie is made sweeter by forgiving friends and colleagues. I hope to grow more of my brain back when the kids start school, but probably they'll all sign up for three different sports and I will only get worse.

I'll let you know if I remembered to get the pizza. You know, if I don't forget.

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