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Emily Morrison Emily Morrison
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Heartbreak happiness: make it Swift

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Who doesn't love a Taylor Swift break up song? I want to break up with someone just so I can say, 'We are never ever getting back together' 5,000 times in a row legitimately. Unfortunately, I'm happily married and in my 30s, but man, if we weren't so stable, this one would be on my iPod 24/7 (if I had an iPod).

In fact, every one of Swift's songs makes me either want to skip through a meadow with my love beside me, or throw said love down a dark stairwell. I'm seriously considering taking up guitar just so I can spill a few teardrops on my glittering six-stringed instrument and call it a day. Actually, that sounds like a lot of work. Perhaps I'd feel better if I met someone named John, fell prey to Mr. Doe's devilish ways, and then wrote him a nasty note via song lyrics. How epic would that be? 'You played a twisted game with me. Now I'm dissin' you in my quadruple platinum album. Deal with it, Johnny.'

On the upside, Swift knows how to pen a 'you-done-me-wrong' song with the best of them. Patsy Cline went 'Crazy' for good reason: a no-good man. Elvis visited the 'Heartbreak Hotel' from time to time what with all the booze and the bimbos at home in the jungle room. Hank Williams suffered similar problems and died at the age of 29, but not before recording his famous anti-cheating anthem 'Your Cheatin' Heart.' Even Johnny Cash (whose story ends up in a happy-ever-after marriage to June Carter Cash) wore black on behalf of the broken-hearted: the hungry, the poor, the incarcerated and 'A Boy Named Sue.'

Swift joins the rank of such famous country alums not because of her 'heartbreak,' (oh, please) but because of the way she makes heartbreak sound so catchy. No matter who you are or what stage of life you're in, it's easy to get sucked into Swift's country pop lyrics. Her new hybrid of bubble gum pop meets country twang makes even her sadness sound enticing. We all knew he was trouble when he walked in, but we find ourselves rooting for her anyway. While she sings, 'so shame on me now' we're nodding our heads in disagreement to the beat. No, T. Swizzle, don't blame yourself! How could you have known this hard-living, hard-loving rock star would lose you like a bad guitar lick? Impossible!

That, my friends, is precisely the point. What Swift's songs do so well is capture the hindsight is 20/20 theme to her entire love life. If only she could go 'Back to December,' maybe she wouldn't have dumped her boyfriend on her birthday. (The dude showed up with roses, girl, what were you thinking?) If only she could have 'One Last Kiss' with her first love before that infamous 27-second break-up call. The very fact we're privy to such information illustrates Swift's 'hold nothing back' craftiness perfectly. Sure, every song comes off like a Dear Diary entry, but that's exactly why we love them: The angsty self-reproach coupled with scathing criticism of her exes makes us feel like we're living through another messy break up right along with her without feeling any of the pain or recrimination that normally accompanies such devastation. It's awesome, pseudo-heartbreak is.

While I won't be looking to 'Begin Again' any time soon, I love the idea of my husband taking me out for coffee and pretending to laugh at my lame jokes. Sounds like fun. I think I'll wear some vintage outfit and go bicycling around town for a while before we meet up. Oh, and I have to remember to bring my sketch pad. I wonder if my laptop will do? I guess as long as it's Wednesday and we're in a cafe, we're good.


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