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Katy England Katy England
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edge staff writer


Underpants and other oddities

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Gender wars are a thing. I get it. I've been trying not to hop on that particular bandwagon and was doing fine - until I had to buy our kids underwear. Yeah, I got sick of trying to reason with the children, and they are now wearing underoos during awake time as a component of potty training. It's awful, but I'm not here to talk about how may disinfectant wipes I'm going through this week.

I want to talk about underwear. I had to buy it for the first time recently, and it was weird for a couple of reasons. One, there is more variety in underwear than is entirely necessary. And yes, I remember my Wonder Woman Underoos as a little girl fondly but it's still weird. I mean, I saw bikini-style briefs in sizes that a Cabbage Patch Doll could wear comfortably.

And there were leopard print and tiger stripes. They were the least flashy of the bunch. Well, apparently I'm a prude who knew?

Then, because I remembered my childhood fondness for my favorite characters on my underthings, I looked for characters everyone would enjoy. And things got even more disappointing. Sully and Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc., Lightning McQueen and Mater from 'Cars,' and Woody and Buzz from 'Toy Story' are all on boys' underpants.

There were loads of princesses to choose from, but for whatever reason my girls kind of skipped the princess train.

My girls love cars in a way I don't even understand. I can't change my own oil. They also really love trains, as in 'Thomas and Friends' and all of that masterfully marketed weirdness. And I've even grown to love those weird, immortal tank engines, because the stories are relatively calm if bizarre. One of my girls refers to Percy (the number 6 green engine who pulls the mail cars) as her best friend.

I've tried a couple of times to fire up 'Tangled,' to no great response. So having pretty ladies on their underpants isn't really a thing.

The girls want Lightning McQueen. And so they are wearing boys' underpants.

Of course, because the process is so horrible, most of these underpants end up in the laundry two or three times a day. And that, at least, isn't a gender war.

Last modified on Tuesday, 19 May 2015 20:28


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