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Katy England Katy England
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edge staff writer


Now I'm just somebody that I used to know

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Parenting can be an isolating experience. Yes, you can meet other parents people you may not have otherwise gotten a chance to meet. It's wonderful to meet new people, and I've been blessed with an abundance of great ones. But regardless, when they say parenting changes you, they mean it. It isn't just superficial it cuts you deep. 

A lot of the changes are good. You get to re-experience the wonders of childhood. You get to color, receive messy kisses, watch cartoons, sing and be silly. I love that. But you also get unbearably frustrated.

Temper, temper I never used to have much of a temper. Sure, I'd rage about minor frustrations like young people do, but I was a pleasant person. I still feel like I am a pleasant person just not as much and certainly not all the time. Man, kids will test your upper limits of keeping your cool. Recently, I cracked after three hours of non-stop, insistent but vague whining. I gave myself a timeout. They didn't like it. I didn't like it, but it needed to be done.

I used to know about pop-culture. I'm a reporter for crying out loud I knew when things were happening. That new movie coming out, the performer coming to town, the new book hitting the shelves? Not only did I know about them, I experienced them. Now, if I'm lucky and can swing it with my schedule I'll get to cover something for work. But if it wasn't for that I would have a hard time telling you who was in office.

I remember when going to a Ruby Tuesday wasn't a momentous occasion but now I hardly know how to interact with the wait staff. I bust out a ledger book to make plans with friends and will become pushy if I can't pin someone down fast enough.

Every new thing for me is at least two years behind the current world. I've just started reading 'Doctor Sleep,' finished watching the available episodes of 'Sherlock, ' and the last season of 'Doctor Who' that was available on Netflix is about two seasons behind the spoilers on the internet (there's a new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new doctor? I just got use to the last new doctor!).

Punctuality is the privilege of the sane. I remember when I was early for things. Like a good solid, half hour early. I'd sit in my car with a book and read. Luxury! Now if I'm on time it's a miracle sent from on high. But coincidentally, this coincides with another new aspect of my personality: I couldn't care less.

That's one of the funny things about having your priorities rearranged for you: Opinions of others slip down the list a few pegs. Look, I'm not saying I don't care what people think. Clearly I do, or I'd be typing this in sweatpants. But not sweating the small things has been a higher priority than worrying about if someone is miffed that I'm five minutes late because I didn't want to show up in a shirt that had been slathered in oatmeal or worse.

In short, I'm not the person I was. But who is? I'm working on the parts I don't like (I will read more, dammit!) and hanging on to the parts that I do (silly dancing, man, there isn't much better).


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