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Katy England Katy England
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Meeting friends

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Why I don't get out much... Why I don't get out much...

I remember thinking how difficult it was to meet new friends after graduating from college. When I first moved to the state from 'away,' I basically knew my husband and his family. That was pretty awesome, because they're great people, but it didn't take me long to realize I kind of missed knowing people outside of work.

There's only so much griping about the job that one can stand before it gets old. It was three years before I met one of my very best friends, which brings me to my point: it was that hard before I had kids.

Now hold on, I know what you're going to say: 'But you get to meet all sorts of parents when you take your kids to' Stop. Right. There.

In one sense, that's true. I have joined Club Mom, and it is by and large an awesome club. And even my elite club of moms of multiples includes some incredible people. But that just means all of us are being pulled in five million directions. One of my very favorite triplet moms lives juuuuust far enough away that if I want to visit her, it involves extensive planning. How long is the trip? How long is the visit? When is their nap? What will the adult-to-toddler ratio be? Whose house is more baby-proofed and for what level of baby/toddler? 

Then you have to factor in known variables such as lunch or snack time where will everyone sit? What should you bring for toys? How many?

Then there's the unknowns as I learned while visiting one of my friends who is expecting triplets. In the short car ride over, one of my girls became fussy and started crying. Since we only had about five minutes left on the ride, I kept going. As I pulled into the driveway, I heard a hurk followed by a wet sloshing plop sound. Oh yeah, she hurled. And her sister hurled. A lot. It was an amazingly short visit. But I counted my paranoid blessing for bringing my ridiculously full diaper bag that contained three new outfits, three washcloths and a burp rag (they haven't even used burp rags for almost a year).

There's also the factor of not knowing how well the kids will interact with the new kids. I mean, my children are fairly well behaved, but having triplets really dissolves any illusions that any one of them is a pristine little angel. The boy will bulldoze his way to any toy he wants, plowing his sisters aside with abandon. The girls, without their brother's bulk, resort to sneakier but equally naughty measures when it comes to getting what they want. I've seen my littlest girl shriek and cry when her brother had something she wanted, in a covert effort to get me to take it from him and give it to her. And that isn't even getting into the hitting or biting. So I'd really rather not deal with that happening to someone else's children.

Blending schedules with someone as busy as - or busier than - I am is a challenge. But even seeing friends that I used to see regularly is tough. Work friends and business acquaintances are harder to see these days. And when I do see them, usually the topic of conversation is, 'I haven't seen you in forever.' Well, it's better than talking about how you spend most of your days in sweatpants covered in oatmeal and drool. After a certain point, people just start backing away slowly.


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