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Todd Parker 02-03-2016

February 3, 2016
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Dear Todd Parker,

I'm a 27-year-old guy and I broke up with my girlfriend of six years a few months ago. I decided that if I didn't want to marry her I was just stringing both of us along. My dating life before her was easier since I was still in college, going to parties, and constantly meeting new people. Now I am in the realm of the adult dating world and have been a bit lost but learning quickly.

I met a girl a few weeks after the breakup and started hanging out from time to time; very low-key. It's not like I'm looking for a serious relationship or anything, but I feel like that I had been in one for so much of my dating life that it's all I know.

So the girl and I have made out a few times and she spent the night at my house once. However, I can't seem to find it in myself to take the next move and turn it into a sexual relationship. I have a nervousness that I haven't felt since I was 17. What should I do to get over the anxiety in the bedroom and take the relationship to the next level?

Nervous in Orono

Dear Nervous,

The short answer? Grow a pair.

Seriously, man. I get it; you were in a long-term relationship and it's hard to get over. But it sounds like you two were done long before you were done, if you get my meaning. And it seems like you did the right thing; I respect you not jerking your lady around.

You wanted to be single and now you are. Hooray for you. Not as easy as you thought, though, is it?

Dude, that nervousness? Never going to go away. You're just going to have to man up and play through it. Otherwise, you'll simply drift along in this weird bubble of pseudo-romance until the lady in question gets bored waiting for you to make your move.

Be nervous, man. Just don't let it stop you. Hell, tell her how nervous you are. She'll probably find it cute and charming and subsequently be quite forgiving of the many, many mistakes that you are destined to make in the situation.

And always remember this one truth - you will mess up. A lot. But that's just because you're a guy and that's what we do. Just don't be so fearful and you'll be fine.

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