But just last week, an old friend found me and we have been talking (strictly friendly) for the past week; were on the phone all night sometimes. I feel like we are really connecting, and I definitely have a bit of a crush on him. We haven't mentioned liking each other, or dating, but I feel like I am getting hints.

I don't know what I should do if he wants to take things to the next level, while I am waiting for my ex-boyfriend to finally want a relationship. Please help.

- At a loss in Orono

Dear Loss,

Wow. Does that old 'space and time' chestnut still work?

Look - the only time the space-time continuum is a positive thing is when you know a dude who can jam a flux capacitor into a DeLorean. Or when Carl Sagan is talking. Otherwise, it means that you're getting blown off by someone who doesn't have the sack to come right out and break up with you.

Come on. You have to see it, don't you? This dude has essentially gotten you to agree to do fulfill all of your girlfriend duties while foregoing your girlfriend rights. You've got this weird relationship indentured servitude thing going on and you really aren't wearing it well.

By all means, explore the possibilities of the new guy. He's probably just as big a loser as your current guy, but who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky. Regardless of what happens on that end, you need to cut the cord with Mr. Space-Time. You've been together for four years, man - if he can't decide whether he wants to be with you by now, he's either a complete jerk or an utter moron. In either case, you don't want any part of that.

No more of this hemming and hawing crap - if it needs to end, end it. And this relationship needs to end. Then he'll have all the space and time he could ever need.