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January 23, 2013

January 23, 2013
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Stay classy, Wisconsin

JUNEAU, Wis. - Two dancers at an exotic club in Juneau have been cited after they allegedly brawled over a dollar bill.

A Post-Crescent of Appleton report says one of the women is pregnant.

Dodge County deputies say they were called to Silk Exotic last week to break up a fight. They say it started when a customer tried to give a dollar to one of the dancers but the other dancer took it.

The sheriff's report says both women began to brawl. They tussled on the floor, punching, slapping and pulling each other's hair. Other dancers and customers separated the two.

Both women were cited for disorderly conduct.

TME To be fair, one of them is lap-dancing for two.

Who's bad?

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas - Police say a South Texas woman who is accused of driving drunk did her best Michael Jackson impersonation as she moonwalked during her sobriety test.

Corpus Christi police say Coral Li Rape was stopped after she drove down a street in the wrong direction early Friday morning.

Authorities say that when asked to perform a standard sobriety test, Rape 'moonwalked' towards officers.

The 23-year-old was arrested and placed in the city detention center. Police say she had a blood-alcohol level of 0.15 percent, nearly twice the legal limit for driving.

She faces a misdemeanor charge of driving while intoxicated, which carries a sentence of up to a year in jail.

She is free on $1,000 bond. Jail records did not list an attorney for her.

TME Now, if she had done a do-si-do or a two-step, she might have been okay.

Urine trouble now, pal!

PAW PAW, Mich. - A western Michigan man released from jail found himself in custody again after urinating outside the sheriff's department.

Van Buren County authorities say the 42-year-old Holland man appeared at the sheriff's office to bail out a friend early Saturday. The man instead joined his buddy behind bars after a deputy looked out the window and saw him urinating on the building.

The man was drunk and told the deputy that he simply couldn't hold it. He was arrested for disorderly conduct.

Just three hours earlier, he had been released from the Ottawa County jail. The man's name was not released.

TME When you've gotta go, you've gotta go.

Drop box deuce

LAS CRUCES, N.M. - A drop box where Las Cruces residents could leave utility payments has been replaced after the previous one was damaged by human feces.

The Las Cruces Sun-News reports that the new drop box in a city-owned parking lot near City Hall was up this week and residents started submitting payments again.

Authorities say the old drop box was destroyed in November after someone apparently defecated in the receptacle. City officials say around 50 to 100 payments had to be voided because city staff members couldn't safely retrieve those bills and payments without potential health risks.

City Manager Robert Garza says city officials considered discontinuing the drop-box payment option but decided to bring it back with new lighting and a security camera.

TME We assume he or she was paying the sewer bill.

Genial graffiti

LONDON - A British professor who specializes in cities and urban life has been convicted of damaging luxury cars with graffiti that was surprisingly polite.

Stephen Graham was found guilty Friday of using a screwdriver to scrawl inoffensive words such as 'very silly,' 'really wrong' and 'arbitrary' into the paintwork of vehicles including a Mercedes, an Audi, and a Volvo.

Prosecutors said the spree caused 18,000 pounds ($29,000) in damage.

Graham, who teaches at Newcastle University in northeast England, pleaded guilty to criminal damage at Newcastle Crown Court.

Graham's lawyer said the 47-year-old academic had no recollection of his August vandalism spree. Graham previously blamed a bad reaction to alcohol, antibiotics and prescription drugs for his behavior.

Judge James Gos said he would sentence Graham next month.

TME This is what having your car trashed by Mr. Bean would be like.

Those terrifying tots!

CINCINNATI - A former teacher is suing the U.S. school district where she used to work, saying administrators discriminated against her because she has a rare phobia: a fear of young children.

Maria Waltherr-Willard, 61, had been teaching Spanish and French to teenagers in Ohio since 1976.

Waltherr-Willard, who does not have children of her own, was transferred to another school with younger students in 2009. She says the younger students triggered her phobia, caused her blood pressure to soar and forced her to retire.

Her lawsuit says her fear of young children falls under the federal American with Disabilities Act and that the district violated it by transferring her and not letting her go back to her former school. The lawsuit seeks unspecified monetary damages.

Gary Winters, the school district's attorney, said Waltherr-Willard was transferred because the French program at her school was being turned into an online one and that the other school needed a Spanish teacher.

'She wants money,' Winters said of Walter-Willard's motivation to sue.

TME In her defense, little kids are terrifying. Have you seen 'Children of the Corn'?

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