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Celebrity Slam - Secret admirers

January 26, 2022
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You know that we’re always up to have some fun with celebrity romance. And most of the time, the famous folks make it easy. Oh sure, they’ll make a cursory effort to act like they’re trying to keep things on the down low, but it rarely takes long before we see pictures of someone sitting in Pete Davidson’s lap.

Now, we almost devoted this week’s feature to having some fun at the expense of Davidson and his fellow “SNL” dude Colin Jost about the fact that the pair apparently purchased an old Staten Island ferry boat that they’re going to turn into a comedy club. Mostly, we’re just happy to see them doing something together outside of 30 Rockefeller, because there are few things in the celebri-sphere that would make us happier than some sort of whackadoo double date with them and their far-more-famous significant others (Kim Kardashian and Scarlett Johansson, respectively).

But we’re not doing that, because we’ve got something even rarer than a couple of Staten Island boys made good making an inexplicable and poorly-conceived financial decision together.

We’ve got an honest-to-goodness secret celebrity romance coming to light. One that involves yet another “SNL” alum, no less.

It turns out that Bill Hader and Anna Kendrick have been quietly dating for over a year, which is essentially an eon in famous person time. People Magazine broke the news, quoting a source with reported knowledge of the situation.

“Anna has been dating Bill quietly for over a year,” the source told People. “They met years ago. She’s hosted ‘Saturday Night Live’ and they’ve done a movie together, but they got together well after the movie.”

“They are both very private people, and with the pandemic it was easy to keep it quiet,” the source added. “They’re both hysterical so they must keep each other laughing all of the time. She’s really, really happy.”

Entertainment Weekly followed up with a source of their own, one that confirmed the timeline.

Anna and Bill have been dating for a while,” its source said. “They really like each other and share the same sense of humor. They’re both very happy in the relationship and it shows. They have a natural connection.”

As for how they kept it secret, well … it certainly helps that Hader has no social media presence to speak of. And with Hendrick avoiding posting pictures of the two – not to mention the ease of isolation springing from current circumstances – they were able to stay off everyone’s radar.

No more! And you know what a new celebrity romance means, don’t you? That’s right! IT’S PORTMANTEAU TIME!

(Note: We love Bill Hader, but it’s worth mentioning that this relationship is kind of a continuation of a pattern of behavior. Hader was married to filmmaker Maggie Carey, who directed him alongside Rachel Bilson in 2013’s “The To Do List.” That marriage ended in 2018, after which he started dating Bilson – the two were together for a while before an amicable split. Meanwhile, Hader was in “Noelle” with Anna Kendrick in 2019. Not saying there’s any cheating or overlap, but it sure does seem like Bill does some advance scouting on set, you know?)

Anyhow – here we go! This one feels pretty easy, if only because both players have pretty interesting last names. While we often try to go the short-and-sweet route, we’ve decided to go full name this time. So let’s work through it.

If we’re choosing between “Billanna” and “Annabill,” we’re definitely sticking with the former. As for the surname, that’s a tough one. You could go with “Kender” or “Haddrick” (pronounced HAYD-rick), but when you include the first name, it becomes clear.

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you – Billanna Haddrick!

By all accounts, both of these people are lovely weirdoes, so we can only hope that they find what they’re looking for in this relationship. And hell, they’re already through the first year, avoiding all the outside pressure that comes with romance in the public eye. Honestly, it sure seems like they’ve got a shot at making it work.

However, we would like to suggest that Anna maybe make a point of turning up on set when Bill is working. That way, when she’s replaced in a couple of years by Issa Rae, it won’t be too much of a shock.

Last modified on Wednesday, 26 January 2022 09:29

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