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Weird National Briefs (01/26/2022)

January 26, 2022
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Weekend at Blarney’s

LONDON (AP) — Police in Ireland are investigating reports that the body of a dead man was brought to a post office in an attempt to collect his pension.

The Irish Times said a man who appeared to be in his 60s was dragged into the post office in the town of Carlow on Friday, propped up by two younger men. When questioned by staff, the two fled, leaving behind the older man, who was found to be dead.

Ireland’s national police force, the Garda Siochana, would not discuss details of the case but said officers were investigating circumstances surrounding the “unexplained death of an elderly male” in the Carlow area. The force said an autopsy would be conducted to determine the cause of the man’s death.

According to the Irish Times, one of the younger men had inquired about collecting someone’s pension and was told that the recipient had to be present. With the help of a companion, he allegedly returned with the dead man’s body, the newspaper reported.

Carlow Mayor Ken Murnane said the allegations had left townspeople in shock.

“It’s just mind-boggling that anyone could happen to do something like that,” Murnane said. “It beggars belief. It’s like a Hitchcock movie.”

TME – Danny Boyle is taking notes.

This alert’s no joke

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. (AP) — The Missouri State Highway Patrol alert sent cellphones blaring statewide: Authorities in Gotham City, Missouri, were searching for a purple and green 1978 Dodge 3700GT.

But there is no Gotham City, Missouri, and the car referenced was the one used by the Joker in the 1989 “Batman” movie. Soon after the Tuesday evening alert, the patrol sent another saying to disregard it.

In a brief news release, the patrol said a routine test of Missouri’s Blue Alert system was inadvertently transmitted statewide. The system is meant to let the public know when a police officer is killed or seriously injured in the line of duty.

“During the test, an option was incorrectly selected, allowing the message to be disseminated to the public,” the news release stated. A message left with patrol on Wednesday seeking additional information wasn’t immediately returned.

TME – A “test,” eh? Isn’t that exactly what the Joker would want us to think?

Monkey business

DANVILLE, Pa. (AP) — A truck carrying about 100 monkeys was involved in a crash Friday in Pennsylvania, state police said as authorities spent a full day searching for at least three of the monkeys that appeared to have escaped the vehicle.

The truck carrying the animals crashed with a dump truck in the afternoon in Montour County, Pennsylvania State Police Trooper Andrea Pelachick told the Daily Item.

The truck had been on its way to a lab, Pelachick said.

The last of the escaped monkeys from the crash was accounted for by late Saturday, a day after the pickup collided with a dump truck on a Pennsylvania highway, authorities said.

Several monkeys had escaped following Friday’s collision, Pennsylvania State Police said. But only one had remained unaccounted for as of Saturday morning, prompting the Pennsylvania Game Commission and other agencies to launch a search for it amid frigid weather.

TME – Pretty sure this is EXACTLY how “Planet of the Apes” started.

This little piggie

PLEASANTON, Calif. (AP) — Pleasanton police want to know if anyone is missing an “adorable” piglet.

The little porker was found wandering the East Bay suburb on Thursday, the department said in social media posts.

The owner couldn’t be immediately located so the piglet they’ve named Bacon was turned over to Alameda County’s East County Animal Shelter.

Police hope someone will bring Bacon home.

TME – We’ve been waiting for a “Babe: Pig in the City” sequel.

Corrections correction

MIAMI (AP) — An 18-year-old is accused of impersonating a corrections officer while talking to staff members at a Miami high school.

Miami-Dade school police noticed the young man inside Miami Palmetto Senior High School around 1 p.m. Thursday.

He was wearing a Miami-Dade County Corrections and Rehabilitation Department jacket and traffic vest, and had a Florida corrections badge with a photo that police said did not look like him, the report said,

The young man told officers that he’d just been hired by the corrections department and that he would be attending the academy soon, WPLG reported.

Police said he had a handcuff case attached to his belt, along with a pouch on his hip in the shape of a firearm.

Officers detained him and patted him down. They found a pair of handcuffs, a thermometer shaped like a firearm, a pocketknife and two credit cards that did not belong to him.

He was arrested for impersonating an officer, trespassing on school property with a firearm, unlawfully possessing a stolen credit or debit card, burglary, and unlawful use of a police badge.

He complained of heart pain and difficulty breathing and was taken to a hospital to be checked out before being booked into jail.

TME – In the biz, we call this a “reverse 21 Jump Street.”

Last modified on Wednesday, 26 January 2022 09:27

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