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Celebrity Slam - Hit in the can

June 8, 2021
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As we’ve learned over the course of our lengthy tenure operating in this space, there are a lot of reasons that we scorn and mock the rich and famous. And the truth is that while we do this for a living, there are plenty of folks out there willing to take their swings … verbally or otherwise.

Actor Miles Teller found himself on the business end of one such “otherwise” recently. And while he initially claimed to have no connection to the people involved, it turned out that there was more to the story.

It all went down at the Monkeypod Kitchen restaurant on the island of Maui a couple of weeks ago. Miles and his wife Keleigh were having dinner at the restaurant when Miles excused himself to use the restroom. While in there, he was apparently confronted and assaulted by a man who wound up punching the actor in the face.

Now, Teller initially indicated that this was some sort of random act by strangers, but subsequent reports show that the man in question was a wedding planner who claims that the actor and his wife stiffed him on services rendered with regard to his 2019 nuptials – stiffed to the tune of $60,000.

While the circumstances regarding the dispute remain murky as far as the Tellers are concerned, there is a little bit more to the story.

See, it appears that this particular planner has a history of confrontations with people for whom he and his wife have performed wedding services. Footage has recently emerged of another wedding – one from weeks before the alleged assault on Teller – where things get out of hand.

The video shows Lorrie Nielsen in full-on rage mode outside the Four Seasons Lanai. Apparently, the trouble began inside the venue, but rapidly escalated once it spilled out into the parking lot. A wedding guest is filming as Lorrie lunges toward him, though other people appear to be holding her back. Frustrated by her inability to attack, she shouts “Russell, get him!” – Russell being her husband and the guy who allegedly punched Teller in the bathroom.

Cops were called and took Lorrie away in the back of a squad car.

Now, we weren’t born yesterday – there are plenty of examples out there of famous people not paying their bills and assuming that they’ll get away with it because of the aforementioned fame. So we concede that there’s a very real chance that Miles Teller big-timed these folks and refused to pay them the 60 large that he owed them. He doesn’t seem like the type, but the truth is that you never know with famous people. And there’s a certain flavor of rich d-bag that LOVES to not pay their bills. Is Miles Teller one such rich d-bag?

Don’t know and don’t care.

Here’s what we DO care about – a famous person getting punched in the face. Would it be better if the punch was thrown by another famous person? Sure, but the fact that the incident took place in a restaurant bathroom definitely goes a long way toward making up for that fact.

Obviously, past actions are not necessarily indicative of future ones, but even the most cynical anti-Teller pundit would have to admit that it certainly looks like a pattern of lunatic behavior on the part of these people. Just seems like a LOT of rage is all.

Frankly, it makes you wonder just how awesome these psychos are at wedding planning. Think about it – it’s difficult to imagine these as isolated incidents, which means that these folks have freaked out at other people that we haven’t even heard about. And yet, with all that insane behavior, they KEEP GETTING WORK. And not just any work – work with famous people getting married in an island paradise.

They must plan a hell of a wedding, you know?

We would never condone violence in any form. Regardless of whether Miles Teller owes these folks for services rendered, they don’t have the right to punch him in the moneymaker while he’s shaking off after hitting the urinal. Still, he should pay up – it’s not like he’s short of cash.

We hear he’s flush.

Last modified on Tuesday, 08 June 2021 14:13

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