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Celebrity Slam - The fight Game

May 19, 2021
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We were back and forth about what we were going to cover in this week’s Celebrity Slam. Longtime readers are of course aware of our love of celebrity romances and the couple-name portmanteau opportunities that come with them.

And we’ve certainly gotten a few of them recently.

There’s the potential return of Bennifer, of course – the reunion between former A-list lovers Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez – though that one still feels a little up in the air. There was the surprise wedding of actress Kat Dennings and party icon Andrew W.K. (Andennings W. Kat? We’re still workshopping…), a relationship that we neither knew about nor were surprised by. And of course, the abrupt announcement of comedian John Mullaney’s divorce, followed by an equally abrupt revelation that he’s dating Olivia Munn (definitely Munnllaney).

But we’re not going to talk about them.

We’ve been blessed with ANOTHER of our favorite things – Twitter beef. Specifically, Twitter beef between famous people in which one famous person attempts to bring their internet conflict into the real world. That’s what we’re talking about.

We’re talking about the fact that The Game, apparently bored, hopped onto Twitter to challenge not one, but both of the Paul brothers to a fight.

“Yerrr, @JakePaul, @LoganPaul … meet me & my little brother downtown LA in front of the Staples Center and let’s just fight head up fades. No gloves, no money needed … just on some me & brother will f--- you and your brother up s---!”

In response, Jake Paul tweeted this lyric:

“Hate it or love it you would get knocked the f--- out!”

Logan, for his part, simply said:

“You gonna need your entire family.”

(This line is particularly apt because in a recent training session, Logan basically took on the entire Gronkowski family – minus Rob, of course, who served as a ref. But all the other beefy brothers – and these are big dudes – took turns in the ring with Logan, one round at a time. And by all accounts, Logan took them all apart.)

Look, we’re not going to disrespect The Game here. We have no doubt that he has been in more than his share of legitimate fights over the years; no one here is disputing the fact that he is almost certainly very good with his hands in this respect. But he’s also 41 years old.

On the other hand, you have the Paul brothers. We’re not fans – we generally find them both to be off-putting and unpleasant – but we’re kind of past the point of this whole boxing thing being a joke for them. While they’ll likely never be truly elite fighters, it’s tough to argue against the legitimacy of their training. We thought it was all a joke at first – most people did – and initially, we were all right. But as time has passed, these two sentient clouds of Axe Body Spray and vape juice actually turned themselves into capable boxers.

We’re as surprised as you are.

And that’s the thing – we’re certain that The Game is still looking at the Brothers Paul as a joke. But they’ve both won real fights. This might have started out as a half-step above celebrity boxing, but we’re not there anymore.

Would we love to see these two wads get their comeuppance at the hands of an aging rapper and his little brother? Of course we would. Who wouldn’t? And that, we think, is where this is ultimately going. Sure, the Game indicated that he wanted to throw down with no money at stake, but come on – this is one of the savvier businessmen in the industry. He’s no dummy and knows that a bout involving him and one or both of the Pauls would mean major bank for all involved. He’s planting the seeds for a big payday down the road. There’s a reason he’s got the name that he does – this guy knows how to play it.

Or maybe he just REALLY wants to punch the smug look off a Paul’s face. We get it. Logan, Jake – both exceedingly punchable. The biggest struggle of them all is probably choosing which one.

(Logan. It’s definitely Logan.)

Last modified on Wednesday, 19 May 2021 06:52

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