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Weird National Briefs (08/21/2019)

August 21, 2019
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Cop drama

HICKSVILLE, N.Y. - Police in the New York City suburbs say they’ve arrested a fake cop who tried to pull over real detectives.

Nassau County police say Valiery Portlock sounded a horn and flashed emergency lights Friday morning as he an attempt to pull over a van in Hicksville, Long Island.

The unmarked van turned out to be occupied by detectives from the department’s electronics squad.

Police say that once the detectives identified themselves and approached his vehicle, the 25-year-old Portlock swerved his Nissan Sentra into oncoming traffic and sped to the Long Island Expressway.

Police say highway patrol officers eventually pulled Portlock over and arrested him without incident.

He is in custody pending arraignment Saturday on charges including criminal impersonation and reckless endangerment. Court records do not list a lawyer who could comment on his behalf.

TME – He don’t need no stinking badges.

Done dirty

CRESTVIEW, Fla. - Authorities say a Florida man used a front-end loader to dump a bucket full of dirt on a car with his girlfriend inside.

The Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office says 20-year-old Hunter Mills was charged with felony criminal mischief.

The sheriff’s office says Mills invited his girlfriend to a dirt pit in Crestview, Florida, where he worked. Officials said the girlfriend arrived in a white sedan owned by another person, and after he asked her a question, he used a front-end loader to dump a mountain of dirt on the car. She wasn’t injured, but dirt filled up the air vents and console because the window was open.

An attorney for Mills was not listed in jail records related to Thursday’s arrest.

TME – Dude needs a rear-end loader to find his head.

Siphoning shenanigans

KEAVY, Ky. - Authorities in Kentucky say three thieves thought they were stealing gasoline from a property for their broken-down car until the car stopped working again.

Laurel County Sheriff’s Office on Facebook said the three stole a 5-gallon gasoline jug from a garage for their car. Except there wasn’t gasoline in the jug. It was peroxide.

News outlets report Latasha Bryant, Timothy Storms and Dustin Napier were arrested Wednesday on various charges including burglary.

Spokesman Gilbert Acciardo says after the trio filled their tank up with peroxide, they pushed the vehicle onto the victim’s property.

The sheriff’s office says Napier was found with a pill in her mouth that she refused to spit out. Bryant was found with a glass pipe.

It’s unclear if an attorney is available to comment.

TME – What a gas! Or at least, what a peroxide!

Flue the coop

LOS ANGELES - Firefighters rescued a naked man accused of burglary after he got stuck in the chimney of a Los Angeles-area home.

KNBC-TV reports Portia Woffard discovered the man Saturday morning after she heard strange noises coming from the Ladera Heights house across the street from her home.

Woffard says the man claimed he was in the chimney because somebody laced his drugs and people were trying to kill him.

Firefighters responded and pulled him out of the chimney.

Medical personnel checked the man before he was arrested on suspicion of burglary. His name wasn’t immediately released.

Authorities say the man ran into the Ladera Heights neighborhood after he broke into a home in Culver City.

TME – Santa’s fallen on some hard times.

Sting operation

BERLIN - A fugitive in Germany has been nabbed thanks to the help of angry wasps.

Oldenburg police said the unusual sting operation took place Monday after officers tried to arrest a 32-year-old man to serve an outstanding 11-month custodial sentence.

The suspect, whose name wasn’t released, fled from police and jumped from a balcony straight into a wasps’ nest.

The irate insects attacked the man, prompting him to run onto the street. Officers tried to apprehend him there, only to be attacked by wasps themselves.

The suspect managed to break free but with wasps in hot pursuit chose to jump into an inflatable pool, where he was arrested.

TME – This story has set all of Berlin abuzz.

Party crasher

PHOENIX - Authorities say a 19-year-old allegedly driving impaired sped through a freeway closure in Ahwatukee last weekend so she could get to a birthday party.

Phoenix police say Luz Areli Lamas was driving at least 100 mph (161 kph) when she went through the Interstate 10 closure around 4:45 p.m. Saturday.

TV station ABC15 reports the woman allegedly fled from authorities and nearly hit a parked police vehicle with officers inside before crashing her car on the curb.

Lamas has been booked into jail on suspicion of DUI, speeding, reckless driving, unlawful flight from law enforcement and aggravated assault on an officer.

Her bond is set at $5,000.

It was unclear Monday if Lamas has a lawyer yet for her case.

TME – In her defense, Brittany only turns 21 once.

Hotel freeloader

LAS VEGAS, N.M. - A northern New Mexico man is facing charges after authorities say he broke into a hotel room and took a shower before stealing a television.

The Las Vegas Optic reports Ignacio Gallegos was recently arrested following reports of a man leaving the Plaza Hotel in Las Vegas, New Mexico, with a TV.

Las Vegas Police say the 30-year-old Gallegos broke into the hotel room, apparently took a shower, then removed a 50-inch (127-centimeter) television from the wall.

Security footage showed a man police believed to be Gallegos carrying a green coffee cup and entering the room. Police later found in the room a green cup, wet towels and water in the shower.

Gallegos is facing commercial burglary and larceny charges. It was not known if he had an attorney.

TME – You don’t want to know what he does to an Air BnB.

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