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Celebrity Slam - Shamrock sucks

April 10, 2019
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We’re not always about the biggest stories here at Celebrity Slam.

Given our longstanding flexibility with regards to what the term “celebrity” even means, it’s not surprising that sometimes we go with items featuring people who might be a little lower on the pop culture ladder. Sure, it’s fun to go after the superstars, but when you step down a tier or three, well … sometimes you find someone who REALLY deserves whatever they get.

So no, we will not be addressing the ongoing college admissions scandal and the famous people embroiled within it. Well, at least not at length – we will say that Felicity Huffman submitted a guilty plea and might dodge doing time (though prosecutors are looking for at least four months), while Lori Laughlin appears to have drastically overplayed her hand in refusing to plead out; the amount of money involved means that Aunt Becky could be facing a prison sentence of four years minimum.

Blah blah blah – we’ll talk about it at length at some point, but not this week. Right now, we’ve got someone on the hook for being just a real garbage pile. He’s not super famous, but he is famous enough for our purposes.

Former UFC star Frank Shamrock had a problem. He was moving his ailing mother out of her home and her new place wouldn’t allow her two dogs to come with her. Frank was able to get one of the dogs placed in a shelter, but the other one – a sweet girl named Zelda – was tougher to place. So did he buckle down and keep trying, doing his best for an animal beloved by his own mother?

Good reader, he did not.

Instead, he took the dog to the Dallas airport and tied her to a truck in the parking lot, leaving her there for authorities to find, thus (in his mind) making the dog their problem. The thing is, no one found the dog for FIVE DAYS. That poor girl was tied to a car in a massive airport parking lot for nearly a week.

Shamrock tried to claim that it was for the best – that his actions kept the dog alive, because he couldn’t guarantee that would be the case if he did something else or some such nonsense – but law enforcement isn’t having it; numerous charges are potentially in the works.

(Oh, and just FYI, it appears that Zelda is getting a happy ending. She has already been adopted by a nice lady and things appear to be looking bright for that good girl.)

You’re a trash human, Frank Shamrock. What kind of monster does something like this? Leaving a poor dog trapped like that? You should be ashamed of yourself.

Oh, and saying that it was all you could do? Yeah, no – that’s not true. There are always going to be options beyond tying the dog to a truck, dropping a fistful of kibble and some water and basically peacing out. Yes, you contacted security. And yes, they should have located the dog ahead of time. But you know what? We don’t care. No one does.

You can try to shift blame and responsibility all you want, scumbag. It doesn’t change the facts with regards to what you did. It’s a despicable act, a cowardly act. Say you’re sorry all you want – you’re only sorry because the world knows what a reprehensible jackhole you are.

We’re firm believers in the idea that you can tell everything you need to know about a person’s character by how they treat pets. And so we feel comfortable saying that Frank Shamrock is a terrible person, a dumpster fire of an individual who is clearly completely devoid of both empathy and common sense. There aren’t enough bad things that could happen to him.

Seriously – this isn’t even his dog. Zelda belonged to his mother. He basically told his mother that he would ensure the well-being of her beloved pet and then turned around and handled it in a heartless and utterly irresponsible manner.

We see a lot of stupidity in this space. And we make light-hearted fun of it. Something like this? It’s not light-hearted. You suck, Frank Shamrock. In a world full of awful people, you’re among the worst.

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