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Putting their best foot forward

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Noted cryptids team up for footwear venture

ST. POMME DE TERRE Regular readers of The Maine Edge likely have at least a passing familiarity with the tiny northern Maine town of St. Pomme de Terre.

This tiny hamlet population 107 became a sensation a few years ago when a Bigfoot wandered out of the forest and into the town's heart. The mythic beast ran for and won a seat on the Board of Selectmen.

News was made again last year when a Yeti appeared out of the mists and took out papers at the town office with the goal of running against the Bigfoot when it went up for reelection.

However, it appears that the two have put aside their differences and gone into business together. The cryptozoological duo is hoping to find success through a shared passion high-quality outdoor footwear.

'It's really a no-brainer,' said spokesperson Pat Gimlin. 'These two magnificent beasts have done great work serving on the St. Pomme de Terre Board of Selectmen together; it only stands to reason that they could bring that same combination of fearsome strength, quasi-mysticism and nonpartisan cooperation into the business realm.'

The company called YetiFoot Equipment is looking to stake a claim to the small but lucrative niche that is high-performance bad-weather footwear. While manufacturing has not yet begun on their signature product also called the YetiFoot their combination of prototype and strong business model has led to a massive influx of investment capital.

'We here at Adventure Venture are committed to helping bring the best, most brilliant ideas to fruition,' said AV CEO Henry Dean. 'Did we have doubts about doing business with mythic man-apes from the lost depths of the vast northern wilderness? You bet we did! But we pride ourselves on being open-minded, and when we met with these two, wellthere was no denying either the technical knowledge or the passion. They are on the verge of completely disrupting the outdoor footwear paradigm with the YetiFoot; you better believe that we wanted in on the ground floor.'

Due to concerns regarding patents and potential industrial espionage, access to the YetiFoot designs is limited. No one sees anything without signing the company's ironclad non-disclosure agreement. Those who have seen them can't say much, but what they do say is glowing.

'You have no idea what's coming,' said Gimlin. 'I'm just thrilled that they thought enough of me to bring me on board, because this is some next-level stuff.'

'It's going to be a seismic shift in the outdoor equipment world,' Dean said. 'People will never look at high-performance outdoor footwear in the same way again. And the YetiFoot is just the beginning; I can't tell you the details, obviously, but those two have got big plans. Big plans.'

There was some trepidation on the part of St. Pomme de Terre residents when word first hit about the Bigfoot/Yeti business collaboration. The town had grown to love its pair of hairy nine-foot-tall residents and all that they did for the community. They had no idea just how mutual that affection was.

'From day one, part of any investment deal has included a stipulation that all manufacturing facilities must be built within 15 miles of St. Pomme de Terre,' Gimlin said. 'Obviously, every investor offered their own ideas about production; when they asked if it was a dealbreaker, they were told that it absolutely was.'

He paused, then smiled.

'The ones that asked more than once? Well, they got more than just a deal broken, if you know what I mean.'

Town residents are understandably thrilled at the prospect of millions of investment dollars pouring into the community's coffers.

'Ain't it a hell of a thing?' asked local lumberman Mark Pelletier. 'Those two never asked this town for anything but a chance. They turned out to be right nice for giant missing links, you know? They done a lot of good for the people here. And now they're doing this? Sure, they might be from away, but there ain't no doubt that them two is St. Pomme de Terre through and through.'

Groundbreaking on the new $30 million YetiFoot facility is set to begin sometime this summer.


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