Spreadsheets and savings goals aren’t sexy. That’s probably why great love stories, when retold, don’t delve into household finances. But money is a central part of any relationship. And how you deal with it (or don’t) can determine whether your own tale is a short story or a novel.

“Getting on the same page financially is crucial to being happy and having a long-lasting marriage,” says Marie O’Keefe, a financial advisor at Northwestern Mutual.

That’s not just lip service. A whopping 82% of engaged and newly married couples say they feel closer to their mate when they’re in agreement about money, according to a survey by Northwestern Mutual and The Knot.

But that same survey found that only 37% of couples actually talk about their finances monthly. If that sounds like you and your partner, it’s time to schedule a money summit.

“I’m a huge proponent of financial summits. especially when you’re moving in with each other or getting engaged, because that’s when your lives begin to merge,” O’Keefe says.

If you’re combining households, you need to tackle day-to-day tasks like making a budget and divvying up financial responsibilities. You also need to hit the big picture stuff, namely debt and financial goals, like saving for a house, retirement, vacation, a baby or all of the above.

That first meeting might be a doozy — you have a lot of ground to cover and potentially some financial baggage to unpack — but once you get into a groove, your summits will get easier. These guidelines can keep your talk on track, even when things get uncomfortable.