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Aaron Waite

Aaron Waite

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Wednesday, 10 October 2012 19:31

An Open Letter To Chuck Lorre

An irate monologue about 'The Big Bang Theory'

To the makers of 'The Big Bang Theory:'

Quit it.

Just stop. Move along. Vamoose. Take your sitcom and leave.

Thursday, 04 October 2012 07:39

The Zen of Dark Souls

How to love a game that hates you

50,000 souls.

Fifty-mother-frakking-thousand souls.

I stared in disbelief at the incredibly subtle 'YOU DIED' crimson across the screen like a neon slap in the face. Fifty thousand souls (the measure of experience in this game) plus 11 humanity - a good couple of hours of work vanished under the club of a fat, venomous troll. It was my own fault for being overconfident and pressing onward into the face of obvious danger and then spitting in the face of said obvious danger, which resulted in that same danger beating the crap out of me.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012 18:09

Presenting The Protomen

Gaming's best tribute band is barely a tribute

This world is full of people between the ages of 23-35, covering NES music in an attempt to hold onto the awesomeness that was 8-bit gaming. They pour themselves into their work, trying to recreate each and every note exactly as they remember it from their childhood, clad in their Transformers/She-Ra jammies as they explored these lo-res environments of imagination.

Wednesday, 19 September 2012 16:38

Theory of Relatibility

On fantasy visuals in a visual world 

I'm just going warn you ahead of time, by the end of this article, you are probably going to think I'm a:

  1. prude
  2. chauvinist
  3. sexually-suppressed mouse of a man, or
  4. a psycho on a soapbox
Wednesday, 12 September 2012 17:03

Pixelated Guilt

For the ones we can't save

I already knew going into this that this was about to happen and there was nothing I could do about it.

That really didn't make it any easier.

I was 14 when I first played 'Final Fantasy VII,' in the grand summer of 2002. Not only was it the summer I was introduced to pop punk (which I quickly upgraded to metal short months after), but it was the golden age of playing RPGs on my newly-purchased PS1. Free of the shackles of school for a few brief months, I played through 'The Legend of Dragoon,' 'Final Fantasy VIII' and, of course, 'Final Fantasy VII.'

Wednesday, 05 September 2012 15:51

Quad-Core Hipster Power Pro

A new MacBook put through the gauntlet

I finally broke down and joined the dark side. Citing high-demand professional needs, I broke the bank and invested in a new MacBook Pro. Now, surely you're all thinking that this computer (whom I fondly refer to as Wheatley and/or The Intelligence Dampening Quad-Core) was obviously going to raise my productivity to new heights at work.

Pfft. No. Gaming.

Wednesday, 29 August 2012 16:14

Top five series in gaming

5: 'Final Fantasy' 

Final-Fantasy

Whatever your opinion on the post-Sakaguchi/Umaetsu era, there is absolutely no doubt who shaped the RPG as we know it. During the 90s, Squaresoft (now Square-Enix) seemed to have an intricate knowledge of making a narrative that could pull you in and give you a personal connection with each character. The amount of emotion that was given to each and every one of their characters was evidence of the time spent making them individuals in their own right. The battle systems were sleek yet complex, and the added challenge of hidden bosses lurking the dark corners of the world made each experience both unique and familiar.

Wednesday, 22 August 2012 22:33

Adding Insult to Intellect

Wake up and smell your demographic

I had seen her mad before, but this kind of took the cake. My sister had just gotten done reading about 'Borderlands 2' and its so-called "girlfriend mode" that would make co-op an easier experience for the apparently svelte, petite, break-a-nail-on-the-controller female types. To a girl that had sunk hundreds of hours into theory crafting gear for her discipline priest on 'World of Warcraft' and had flipped 'Final Fantasy X's' sphere grid on its head, this was a massive insult to her hardcore sensibilities.

The thing is, there are far more like her. These "girl gamers" don't flaunt the fact that they're gamers to send some sort of pheromonal signal to attract desperate nerds. They're just gamers. They just want to be treated the same way as the guys, to be on equal ground with the other enthusiasts like themselves. But when you're blatantly dismiss half of your potential fans, they're going to get angry, and you deserve it. Period.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012 15:53

My empire of dirt

One man's decision to walk away from gaming

Some time ago, I contacted a friend of mine through the time-honored method of cellular text, inquiring if he'd like to partake in a match of 'Sins of a Solar Empire.' I was a little perplexed and intrigued when he responded with a very serious request for me to do something incredibly important for him, something that could very well define our friendship. With far more than a bit of curiosity, I agreed to hear him out, and he sent me one of the longest novels of text that I've ever received in this digital age.

My friend was incredibly upset with himself. He felt that he was wasting his life away whenever he played video games, that his need for entertainment was transcending his desire and ability to be creative. Whenever he immersed himself in a game for long periods of time, he would come out of the fog depressed and angry with himself for wasting so much time on something that wouldn't last. There was no way he could balance gaming with the rest of his life, and he felt that if he continued, he would wreck any possibility of being a productive member of society. In a move to distance himself from this kind of behavior, he asked me to keep him accountable and keep him away from video games.

Wednesday, 01 August 2012 16:35

Opening Pandora's Gearbox

No balance is good balance for Borderlands

Before I even start, let me say three words, just three words that will guarantee at least a curiosity in this article. You ready for this?

Rocket. Shooting. Shotgun.

No, you didn't read that wrong. This is only one of the many, many reasons that I absolutely and utterly love 'Borderlands.'

Why's that? Well for starters, just to describe it, you have to group in a whole bunch of awesome concepts from other games. 'Call of Duty' precision controls? Check. 'World of Warcraft'-esque flexible talent tree leveling system? Also check. Randomized loot that seems to pour out of chests, lockers and various enemies? Superbly executed check. And to top it all off, the vehicle driving scheme is modeled off of the greatest in the world: that of the Warthog from 'Halo.' Now throw this mixture of absolute awesome on a 'Mad Max'/'Fallout' wasteland planet, and you have 'Borderlands.'

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