Todd Parker

Todd Parker

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Wednesday, 29 June 2016 13:34

Dear Todd Parker (06/29/2016)

Dear Todd Parker,

I'm a recent college graduate who is heading out into the real world for the first time. It seems like my entire life up to this point has been dictated by the demands of people around me. My world has been all about the schedule for the last 15 years.

Wednesday, 22 June 2016 11:53

Dear Todd Parker (06-22-2016)

Dear Todd Parker,

I need to preface this by saying that I have no problem with kids. I like kids; sure, they can be a little irritating when they're running around and screaming and all that, but most of the children in my neighborhood are really nice, respectful kids. Besides, I understand that mischief is part of the package. Kids get up to stuff. I get it.

Wednesday, 01 June 2016 15:02

Dear Todd Parker (06-01-2016)

Dear Todd Parker,

I'm a recent graduate from one of the local universities. My time in school has been a lot of fun, but I'm ready to make my move into the real world and see what happens next.

Wednesday, 25 May 2016 13:13

Dear Todd Parker (05-25-2016)

Dear Todd Parker,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. We've been through almost everything I can imagine and when it's good there's nothing else I would rather do then be with her. On the other hand, when it's bad I don't know what to do with myself; it brings me down, I don't feel like doing anything and I break down.

Wednesday, 20 April 2016 12:07

Ask Todd Parker (04-20-2016)

Dear Todd Parker,

Wednesday, 06 April 2016 12:44

Ask Todd Parker - (04-06-2016)

Dear Todd Parker,

Wednesday, 30 March 2016 14:16

Todd Parker - (03-30-2016)

Wednesday, 10 February 2016 13:35

Todd Parker 02-10-2016

(Editor's note: Since Mr. Parker was busy with this week's cover story, we thought we might share an old Valentine's Day favorite from the archives. Truly, a classic. Originally appeared on Feb. 8, 2012.)

Dear Todd Parker,

Valentine's Day is such bullst. Everyone knows that it's just one more scam for corporations to make more money. Why should I hand over my cash to those a-holes at Hallmark or Whitman's or whatever just to celebrate a completely arbitrary date?

Wednesday, 10 February 2016 12:46

Todd Parker takes on literary love stories

Advice columnist answers questions classic romances should have asked

Happy Valentine's Day, losers!

Since the letters I've received regarding this year's holiday have been generally crappy, I decided to give you folks a little something special, a sort of literary retrospective that I've been kicking around for a while. I thought you lamewads might find it interesting to hear what kind of advice I might give to those characters in literature dealing with relationship complications.

As you might have guessed, the end result is f---ing BRILLIANT.

Rather than confine myself to just one of these magnificent constructions, I instead chose to give my adoring fans a selection that spans centuries on the literary timeline. It's a holiday celebrating love, after all, and since I definitely don't love the st questions you morons sent me, I figured I'd put something together that is both entertaining and educational.


Wednesday, 03 February 2016 15:51

Todd Parker 02-03-2016

Dear Todd Parker,

I'm a 27-year-old guy and I broke up with my girlfriend of six years a few months ago. I decided that if I didn't want to marry her I was just stringing both of us along. My dating life before her was easier since I was still in college, going to parties, and constantly meeting new people. Now I am in the realm of the adult dating world and have been a bit lost but learning quickly.

I met a girl a few weeks after the breakup and started hanging out from time to time; very low-key. It's not like I'm looking for a serious relationship or anything, but I feel like that I had been in one for so much of my dating life that it's all I know.

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