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Weird National Briefs (11/08/2017)

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Tanked trotting

LAKELAND, Fla. - A 53-year-old woman riding a horse down a busy Florida highway has been arrested and charged with driving drunk.

Polk County Sheriff’s officials said in a news release that someone called 911 about a woman who appeared confused and possibly in danger. When deputies arrived, they found Donna Byrne riding her horse in the road.

Officers did a sobriety test and said she gave breath samples that registered blood-alcohol level of .161 - twice Florida’s legal limit of .08.

Byrne is charged with DUI and animal neglect for endangering and failing to provide proper protection for the horse.

Deputies took the horse to the Polk County Sheriff’s Animal Control livestock facility. She was booked into the Polk County Jail. Jail records did not list an attorney for her.

TME – A horse walks into a bar … because its rider has some serious alcohol issues.

Nacho cheesecake

WHITE CREEK, N.Y. - New York State Police say they’ve charged a 48-year-old woman with stealing $250 worth of baked goods from an order of nuns known for their cheesecake.

Troopers say the theft occurred last month at the Nuns of New Skete monastery in the rural town of White Creek, on the Vermont border, 35 miles (56 kilometers) northeast of Albany.

The nuns sell their cheesecakes and pastries on the honor system at the monastery’s unstaffed gift shop. Police say surveillance cameras caught two women taking merchandise without leaving money in the drop box.

Troopers say surveillance photos released earlier this week and social media postings of the images led to the arrest of a woman from North Arlington, Vermont. The other woman was identified as her 21-year-old daughter, who wasn’t charged.

The cheesecakes sell for $49 and up.

TME – Clearly, they are habitual offenders.

Apply and remand

ALPENA, Mich. - Authorities say it didn’t take long for them to catch a woman suspected of stealing cash from a northern Michigan restaurant, since she’d just filled out a job application at the eatery.

Michigan State Police were told a 47-year-old Alpena woman filled out the application at Mandarin Garden in Alpena County this week, and then took money out of the cash register. WHSB-FM reports she was confronted by employees and fled, but police say they quickly found her at home.

She was arrested and is expected to face charges including larceny. The stolen money was recovered and returned to the restaurant.

TME – Don’t leave us in suspense – did she get the job?

Seafood stumper

GLOUCESTER, Mass. - Spotting a 400-pound tuna in the Massachusetts seaport of Gloucester, known as America’s oldest seaport, is not unusual. But finding a headless tuna in the woods is a bit odd.

State Environmental Police and federal fisheries regulators are trying to figure out who dumped the headless fish, which had to be hauled out of the trees by a tow truck.

Authorities won’t say exactly when the tuna was found or who tipped them off.

But Ally Rogers, a spokeswoman for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Fisheries Office for Law Enforcement, tells the Gloucester Daily Times that the fish was illegally harvested.

The tuna season runs from early June to November.

Maj. Patrick Moran of the Environmental Police says he’s never before had to investigate a tuna in the woods.

TME – Watch your back, Charlie.

Beyond repair

SHERIDAN, N.Y. - Authorities say a western New York town official has been cited for trying to bury his defunct auto repair garage in a hole.

WIVB-TV reports that Louis Delmonte’s business in the Chautauqua County town of Sheridan had been in rundown condition for years. So he borrowed a friend’s excavator and dug a large hole next to the building.

The state Department of Environmental Conservation says Delmonte tore down half of the building and dumped debris in the hole before the agency received a complaint about the work.

Delmonte was told he was illegally disposing of the building because the asbestos abatement required for all commercial demolitions wasn’t completed.

Delmonte, who serves as the town supervisor, says he had received a permit to demolish and bury the building on site from a code enforcement officer.

TME – It’s sad to see a man driven to such ends.

Literal money laundering

HOLLYWOOD, Fla. - Authorities say two alleged Florida drug dealers laundered their money literally in the laundry.

Hollywood Police said they busted Carlos Ramos and Juan Roca after finding a washing machine Monday with $79,000 in cash plus four firearms. Authorities said both men also had large amounts of cocaine and marijuana on them.

The Miami Herald reports Roca is charged with trafficking cocaine, distributing cocaine; and several other charges. Ramos is charged with trafficking less than 200 grams of cocaine, conspiring to traffic less than 200 grams of cocaine and marijuana possession with intent to sell or deliver.

They both remain at the Broward County Jail.

TME – We assume the concept was explained by a five-year-old. 

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