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Weird National Briefs (06/27/2018)

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Criminal charges

PINE BLUFF, Ark. - Authorities say an Arkansas thief got his just deserts when he tried to pay for a meal using the waitress’ stolen credit card.

Police spokesman Lt. David De Foor said in a news release that officers arrested 21-year-old Shamon West on Tuesday at Shannon’s Restaurant in Pine Bluff. He says that “having no desire to pay for the fellow’s meal,” waitress Flora Lunsford called to report that the man had tried paying for his meal with her stolen credit card.

De Foor says officers found other items on West that had been in Lunsford’s purse when it was stolen from her car Sunday at a nearby gas station while she was inside, including her Social Security card and driver’s license.

West is being held at the Jefferson County jail in lieu of $2,840 bond on forgery and theft by receiving charges. Jail records don’t list an attorney.

TME – This guy is what we like to call a card-carrying idiot.

Bad call

WESTERLY, R.I. - Rhode Island police say a man called 911 from the back of a cruiser to complain about an officer who volunteered to give him a ride.

The Westerly Sun reports officers were called to a home in Westerly Tuesday and found the 28-year-old man arguing with his girlfriend.

Westerly Police Chief Richard Silva says the man seemed intoxicated, so officers told him to find a ride home. When he couldn’t, Silva says officers offered the man a ride to the police station where someone could pick him up.

Silva says the man used his cellphone to call 911 once inside the cruiser.

The man has been charged with a misdemeanor of making a false 911 call.

TME – In his defense, it probably FELT like an emergency.

Honey, I’m home!

GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. - Court records say a Colorado inmate, mistakenly released from jail, enjoyed less than two hours of freedom before his wife realized the error and made him turn himself in.

The Grand Junction Daily Sentinel reports James Rynerson was in custody late last month at the Mesa County Jail on a $2,000 cash bond while awaiting prosecution on menacing, disorderly conduct and trespass charges.

Rynerson, 38, was released after Mesa County sheriff’s deputies at the Jail mistook him for another inmate, Marvin March.

Mesa County Sheriff’s Sgt. Henry Stoffel said Wednesday that jail employees broke procedure when they failed to check Rynerson’s wristband and picture, and that an investigation is ongoing to determine whether jail policy around the housing list needs to be updated. He credited Rynerson’s wife for returning her husband to custody.

TME – Thus making the phrase “old ball and chain” remarkably apt.

Front-end loaded

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A 35-year-old Alaska man suspected of weaving through traffic while driving a front-end loader has been charged with driving under the influence of alcohol.

Daniel Hughett also is charged with consuming alcohol in violation of a previous release from custody.

A caller told Anchorage police Tuesday night that an intoxicated man nearly hit a convenience store as he parked a front-end loader.

Police received a second call saying the driver was back on the road, swerving in and out of lanes and bouncing off the curb.

Officers found the unoccupied loader parked in the middle of a busy street. A witness followed Hughett into a neighborhood, where he was arrested.

Police say Hughett drove the loader from his workplace.

Online court documents do not list his attorney.

TME – It specifically says NOT to operate heavy machinery.

Pokemon No!

KIRKWOOD, Mo. - A 71-year-old St. Louis man and his adult son are both charged with assault for allegedly beating up a Pokemon Go competitor who accused them of cheating.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that a bystander’s video captured the skirmish Monday in Kirkwood, a St. Louis suburb. Charges were filed Tuesday against Robert Matteuzzi and 31-year-old Angelo Matteuzzi. Both are jailed on $15,000 bail.

A probable cause statement says that during a Pokemon Go hunt, the victim thought the Matteuzzis cheated and threw a Gatorade bottle into their car. Police say Robert Matteuzzi later found the victim and threw the bottle back at him, prompting a fight.

The probable cause statement says the victim suffered facial cuts and an eye injury.

TME – The real story here is that people are still playing Pokemon Go.

Not-so-hot dog

PHILADELPHIA - It was a flying frankfurter and not a foul ball that left a baseball fan with a black eye in Philadelphia.

Kathy McVay says she was at Monday night’s Phillies game when the team’s mascot, the Phillie Phanatic, rolled out his hot dog launcher. McVay was sitting near home plate and, she says, all of a sudden a hot dog wrapped in duct tape struck her in the face.

McVay says she is suffering from a shoulder injury, so she was unable to swat the hot dog away.

She left the game to get checked out and was diagnosed with a small hematoma.

She told WPVI-TV she doesn’t plan legal action.

The Phillies apologized to McVay on Tuesday and the team has offered her tickets to any game.

TME – Nothing worse than taking a wiener to the face.

This week in criminal masterminds

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Police say a quick-thinking bank teller in Ohio convinced a suspected robber to hand over his own license.

Authorities say the man walked into a Huntington Bank in Columbus on June 4 and gave the teller a note saying he was armed and demanding money.

The teller gave the man a stack of cash, but then he demanded more money from the electronic cash recycle machine in the bank’s lobby.

Police say the teller told the man the machine needed a driver’s license to dispense cash, so the man handed his own license over.

The license led police to the 51-year-old man who was arrested June 15 and charged with aggravated robbery and threatening with a deadly weapon.

TME – He also handed over his passport and his Social Security card.

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