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Weird National Briefs (04/12/2017)

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One crappy ride

BERLIN - One can only imagine the expletives uttered by a Bavarian driver and his teenage daughter after a farmer accidentally filled their convertible with a trailer full of manure.

German police say the incident happened Saturday near the town of Altomuenster, about 30 kilometers northwest of Munich.

The 52-year-old father and his 14-year-old daughter were parked by the roadside when a tractor pulling a trailer of liquid manure swung in their direction.

The maneuver sent the entire load pouring into their Renault convertible, covering the occupants from head to toe with slurry.

In a statement Monday, police said the car is likely a write-off.

On the upside, they noted: “nobody was injured.”

TME – We assume they were chasing a time-traveling Michael J. Fox.

No judgment

EPHRATA, Pa. - Police say a Pennsylvania man crashed his car into a utility pole because he thought there was a spider in his lap.

Ephrata Township police didn’t release the name of the man involved in the crash about 2:30 p.m. Friday.

Police say the man escaped injury, but his vehicle had to be towed.

TME – At least it wasn’t a bee.

Snake mistake

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. - A man who was fined for allowing his pet snake to slither freely in a South Dakota park said an animal control officer suggested he use a leash to restrain the reptile.

Jerry Kimball said he initially thought the recommendation was a joke because it was April Fool’s Day when he was fined $190 and ticketed last week for “animals running at large,” told the Argus Leader.

“He was literally asking me to put a rope around my snake,” Kimball said. “I was like, `Dude, no.’ I was dumbfounded.”

Kimball was approached by the officer after a woman complained that his Fire Bee Ball Python was roaming freely at Falls Park in Sioux Falls.

Animal Control Supervisor Julie DeJong said a city ordinance requires all pets to be leashed or restrained in public. She said pet snakes can be held or kept in a container to comply.

“If it’s in public and it’s not on a leash, it’s at large. The ordinance doesn’t really distinguish between animals,” she said.

DeJong added that snake lovers should be more sensitive to the aversion many people feel toward the animal. While non-venomous snakes are legal to own, not all park visitors will welcome a python in a park.

But Kimball said he considers it his mission to rid the public’s fear of snakes.

“That’s my purpose in life: To let people know that snakes aren’t killers,” he said. “What better way to give back than to help people understand these misunderstood creatures?”

Kimball said he plans to fight the ticket in court.

TME – Anyone else wondering how you go about putting a leash on a snake?

Life imitates art

NEWVILLE, Pa. - Police in Pennsylvania say they arrested a man wearing a Drunk Lives Matter shirt for drunken driving.

Police say 44-year-old Elwood Gutshall III’s blood-alcohol content was about two and a half times the state’s legal limit for drivers when he was pulled over early on March 19 in Newville. He was wearing a green St. Patrick’s Day shirt with the saying on it.

Online court records don’t list an attorney for Gutshall, who faces a preliminary hearing May 26.

Nobody answered the phone at his home Wednesday.

TME – You must admit that the guy practices what he preaches.

Flip you for it!

COLP, Ill. - The next village president in a southern Illinois community will be decided by a coin toss.

The Southern Illinoisan in Carbondale says Tammy O’Daniell-Howell and Bryan Riekena each received 11 votes last Tuesday in Colp.

Williamson County Clerk Amanda Barnes says the tie will be broken on April 20. Illinois law calls for such ties to be settled by a coin flip.

O’Daniell-Howell is a lifelong resident of Colp and has been the village clerk since 2009.

Riekena describes his occupation as “geek.” He attended Southern Illinois University on a swimming scholarship. He stayed in the area after earning a bachelor’s degree in chemistry.

Only 29 of the 250 registered voters in Colp participated in the election last Tuesday.

TME – Democracy at work!

Painted proposition

SHEFFIELD LAKE, Ohio - A man who spray-painted a marriage proposal on an Ohio shopping center has been fined for criminal mischief and sentenced to community service but says he doesn’t regret it.

After all, she said yes.

The Chronicle-Telegram in Elyria reports a magistrate in Sheffield Lake told 23-year-old Kyle Stump that the more traditional down-on-one-knee proposal might have been preferable.

Stump says he thinks authorities overreacted.

Stump pleaded no contest this week in mayor’s court in Sheffield Lake, about 20 miles west of Cleveland. He was ordered to pay over $300 in restitution for cleaning the wall, and his community service might include painting fire hydrants.

The mayor says romantic gesture or not, it’s still a crime with a penalty.

TME – Some would call this an indecent proposal.

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