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Weird National Briefs (03/15/2017)

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Superhero heel turn

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - A robber dressed in a sweat suit as the superhero character Iron Man is being sought for an armed heist at a South Florida blood bank.

The Broward Sheriff’s Office this week released video of the March 3 stickup at Continental Services Group. Investigators told the SunSentinel the man wore a red Iron Man sweat suit with a hood that zipped up into a mask, a black T-shirt over the sweat suit and dark colored pants.

Authoritie say the man pushed aside a customer, pointed a gun at a clerk and demanded money. The clerk gave him a cash box and the man ran away with it. The amount of money taken has not been disclosed.

No one was injured in the heist.

TME – Robert Downey Jr. would be a *killer* Vampire Iron Man.

Meanwhile, in Alaska...

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - An Anchorage, Alaska, man has been charged with a snatch-and-grab theft with a twist - the use of heavy equipment to do the grabbing.

Federal prosecutors have charged Adrian Turnbow, 25, with bank larceny in the attempted theft of an ATM with a front-end loader.

The FBI is investigating three other Anchorage ATM thefts with heavy equipment since Dec. 25. Excavators in at least two previous cases were stolen from Turnbow’s former employer.

Turnbow remains jailed. His attorney, federal public defender Darrel Gardner, said Turnbow has not been required to enter a plea.

A security guard called Anchorage police early Monday to report a front-end loader trying to take an ATM from an east-side bank, according to an FBI affidavit.

Responding officers spotted the loader attempting to flee. The loader became stuck in a parking lot embankment and police detained the driver who was wearing a ski mask and carrying a loaded handgun.

Alaska State Troopers on March 1 arrested three people in possession of an ATM stolen that day from a bank in south Anchorage. They are charged with possession of stolen bank property. Turnbow’s truck was found at the scene. He had reported it stolen.

TME – There must be a more constructive way to handle this.

Drunk ump

PRICEVILLE, Ala. - Hey umpire, whattayou, drunk? At one Alabama high school baseball game, police say the answer was yes.

WAAY-TV reports a north Alabama umpire faces public intoxication charges after he was arrested for officiating at a high school baseball game while drunk.

Priceville police say Derek Bryant was arrested by Monday with one inning left in a junior varsity game at Priceville High School.

Police were called after coaches said they smelled alcohol on Bryant.

At the time of his arrest, Bryant had been umpiring for several hours, but no one saw him drink alcohol at the baseball field.

The man told police he had been drinking earlier.

Bryant has yet to answer the charge in Priceville municipal court.

TME – Just call the one in the middle and you’re fine.

Cosmetic crime

LOS ANGELES - Los Angeles police are looking to throw shade at the thieves behind a million-dollar makeup heist.

The LAPD said Thursday that it’s investigating after $4.5 million worth of eye shadow was stolen from a cosmetics warehouse in the city.

They say the theft occurred between Jan. 28 and Jan. 30 at a warehouse in Los Angeles that houses Anastasia Beverly Hills products.

Police believe the suspects cut a hole in the roof of the warehouse and made off with 100,000 packages of the beauty company’s “Modern Renaissance” eye shadow.

Police estimated the cosmetics were worth about $4.5 million.

A message left Thursday evening at Anastasia’s corporate office wasn’t immediately returned.

TME – You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

Fire down below

MIAMI - A Miami defense attorney is feeling the heat after his pants caught fire as he delivered closing arguments in an arson case.

Witnesses told the Miami Herald 28-year-old Stephen Gutierrez was fiddling in his pocket Wednesday while addressing jurors when smoke started billowing from his pants. At the time, he was arguing that his client’s car spontaneously combusted and wasn’t intentionally set on fire.

Gutierrez quickly left the courtroom. Jurors also were escorted out.

When Gutierrez returned unharmed, he insisted it wasn’t a staged defense gone wrong. The Herald reports he blamed a faulty e-cigarette battery.

Miami-Dade police and prosecutors are investigating the incident. Investigators seized frayed e-cigarette batteries as evidence.

Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Michael Hanzman could decide to hold Gutierrez in contempt of court.

Gutierrez represented 48-year-old Claudy Charles who was eventually convicted of second-degree arson.

TME – Brilliant defense strategy or hilarious irony? We’re happy either way.

Gelato fiasco

CHARLESTON, S.C. - Police in South Carolina were able to nab a burglary suspect when they linked gelato in his possession to the same Italian-style ice cream that had been stolen from a store.

The Post and Courier of Charleston reports that Charleston police responded to a report of a string of vandalisms at 12:30 a.m. Wednesday. Officers found shattered glass at eight buildings on the street and four more on a street nearby.

Around 1 a.m., police found 20-year-old Robert Corbit Hodges nearby. He was drunk, bleeding and carrying a container of gelato.

Investigators determined the gelato had been taken from Burbages Grocery, one of the targeted businesses.

Hodges was arrested on charges of second-degree burglary and public intoxication. It’s unclear if he has an attorney.

TME – Creamy frozen treats are no joke. 

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