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Weird National Briefs (01/18/2017)

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Better late than never

SAN FRANCISCO - A book of short stories titled “Forty Minutes Late” has been returned to a San Francisco library - 100 years late.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that Bay Area resident Webb Johnson returned the book Friday. There was no fine.

Johnson’s great grandmother had checked it out from the city’s old Fillmore branch in 1917. She passed away a week before the due date, and the Fillmore branch is no longer around.

Johnson found the 1909 book, by F. Hopkinson Smith, in an old steamer trunk in 1996. He assumed the library wouldn’t want it back, but a recently announced “fine forgiveness program” that runs through Feb. 14 inspired him to return it.

Head city librarian Luis Herrera said the library was glad to, finally, get the book.

TME – It should have been called “52,596,000 Minutes Late.”

Pipe down

NEW MELLE, Mo. - A suburban St. Louis man is hospitalized with critical injuries after being trapped upside down for about 26 hours in a 20-inch-wide pipe.

Authorities say 47-year-old Leon Lyke was rescued about 2 p.m. Thursday after owners of a home under construction in New Melle heard him yelling. Firefighters pulled Lyke out of the pipe.

New Melle Fire Protection District Chief Rick Massey told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that Massey, who is about 6 feet tall, was in the pipe to install an aerator as part of putting in a septic tank. Massey says Lyke got too far in and couldn’t get himself out. He was working alone on the home being built in a semi-rural area of St. Charles County. He had left his cellphone in his truck.

TME – That’s one crappy day.

Cents-ible behavior

LEBANON, Va. - Now, that’s a lot of change.

A Virginia man used 300,000 pennies to pay sales tax on two cars at the Department of Motor Vehicles.

The Bristol Herald Courier reports that Nick Stafford delivered five wheelbarrows full of change, mostly pennies, at the DMW office in Lebanon, Virginia, on Wednesday. The coins weighed in at 1,600 pounds.

Stafford said he paid in coins to “inconvenience” the DMV.

Stafford was upset because he was unable to find out the direct number to the Lebanon DMV until filing a Freedom of Information Act request. He later sued the state because he says he was denied direct phone numbers to other DMV offices in his area.

Stafford ended up filing three lawsuits, which were dismissed Tuesday.

TME – It might be nonsense, but it’s not non-cents.

Hair apparent

PITTSBURGH - Police say a man bun helped people in one Pittsburgh neighborhood identify the man who was vandalizing their cars.

WTAE-TV reports that 22-year-old Isaac Gettleman is facing 36 counts of criminal mischief.

Police say various surveillance cameras captured images of a man wearing his hair in a bun while kicking the sides of cars and jumping on their side-view mirrors on the city’s South Side.

Gettleman lives in the same neighborhood, which led fellow resident Erin Catalina to wonder, “What motivates someone to do that, I have no idea.” She was referring to the vandalism, not Gettleman’s hair style.

Online court records don’t list an attorney for Gettleman. The Associated Press couldn’t immediately find a listed phone number for him.

He faces a preliminary hearing Jan. 18.

TME – Just one of the many regrettable consequences of the man bun.

Snail space

CINCINNATI - U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials say officers in Cincinnati intercepted more than 50 pounds of methamphetamine that was concealed inside a statue of a snail.

Authorities say the package, which came from Mexico and was labeled “Mexican stone crafts,” contained a decorative snail statue that exhibited “interior anomalies” during an X-ray inspection on Dec. 30.

Customs officers drilled a hole into the statue and found 53 pounds of a white crystalline powder that tested positive for meth.

Richard Gillespie, CBP’s Cincinnati Port Director, says the agency’s officers excel at preventing dangerous packages from reaching innocent citizens.

The snail’s intended destination was Lawrenceville, Georgia.

TME – Who would suspect a snail of speed-related crimes?

Shaver on a train

BERLIN - German media say a train conductor called police after spotting a naked man with a knife in one of the train’s restrooms, where officers found something hairy going on.

Public broadcaster ZDF reported Tuesday that the 22-year-old man was engaged in an “intimate shave” when police intervened at Duesseldorf’s main train station.

A police spokeswoman confirmed the report to German news agency dpa, saying the man had been “quite annoyed” by the interruption and only dressed himself reluctantly.

While shaving in train restrooms isn’t illegal, the man failed to produce a valid ticket and was therefore removed.

Dpa quoted police saying the man told officers he elected to groom himself on the train because he wasn’t welcome at home.

TME – It’s like the opening scene to a Hitchcock porn parody.

Last modified on Wednesday, 08 March 2017 22:22

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