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Weird National Briefs (01/10/2018)

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Citizen’s arrest?

WINTER HAVEN, Fla. - Authorities in Florida are sharing an unusual 911 call they got on New Year’s Eve from a man who said he was driving drunk and needed police.

Polk County Sheriff’s officials say the dispatcher “did a fantastic job” urging Michael Lester to park his truck and wait for officers to find him.

Lester told her he had been driving around all night, “trying to get pulled over.” At another point in the call, he said “I’m driving on the wrong side of the road.”

After deputies caught up with him, they said Lester admitted drinking several beers and swallowing methamphetamine. He also said he’d barely slept for several days.

The sheriff’s Facebook post says Lester’s latest arrest adds to a criminal history including DUI, aggravated battery, drug possession and hit-and-run.

TME – Nice of him to cut out the middleman.

Season’s fleeing

MINOT, N.D. - Authorities say a North Dakota man who wheeled a shopping cart with stolen merchandise out of a Hobby Lobby craft store was stopped by snow.

Police say 22-year-old Dustin Johnson filled up a cart with about $4,000 in products at a Hobby Lobby store in Minot on Wednesday. After the cart got stuck in the snow in the parking lot and tipped over, Johnson allegedly ran off.

Police say that along with the merchandise, Johnson left behind his wallet - which contained identification with his address.

Johnson is charged in Ward County with theft of property. Court documents do not list a lawyer for him.

TME – He had snow idea what he was doing.

Survival of the drunkest

MILTON, Del. - Delaware brewery Dogfish Head will offer a 750-mL bottle of “survival beer” that comes with a Swiss Army knife and wrapped in a solar blanket.

The News Journal in Wilmington reported Friday that the beer is called “It’s The End of the Wort As We Know It.” The brew will be limited to 200 bottles that will cost $45 each.

The brewery said the Belgian-style fruit ale is “chock full of essential amino acids, micronutrients and vitamins.”

It was made with a blend of “blueberries, acai and goji berries along with an assortment of ingredients including purple sweet potatoes, rose hips, chia seed, flax seed, spelt, oats and quinoa.”

It is nine percent alcohol. It goes on sale Jan. 27 at 11 a.m. at the brewery in Milton.

TME – Beer and knives – what could possibly go wrong?

Centennial shot

MORGANTOWN, Miss. - A 99-year-old hunter in Mississippi wants to know why people are making a big fuss about her recent kill. It was a doe after all, not a prized buck.

The Clarion Ledger reports that Bertha Vickers used a .243 Winchester rifle to kill a doe recently a few miles from her rural home. Relatives posted pictures of Vickers and her kill on Facebook, and people sent messages of congratulations.

Vickers says she doesn’t know “why everybody is making such a big deal about it” because it was “just a doe” and not a buck.

Vickers lives near the farming community where she grew up in northern Mississippi, outside Starkville. She still mows her own yard and enjoys squirrel hunting.

She turns 100 on Tuesday.

TME – She had 99 problems, but a buck ain’t one.

Huffy heist

PROVO, Utah - Provo police say a man broke into the department’s evidence room undetected and took back his bike.

Deseret News reported Thursday that the burglary went unnoticed until the person who originally was found with the bike was arrested again and told officers David Elwin Snow was bragging that he “pulled off the crime of the century.”

The 37-year-old Snow and his brother had gone to the department on Dec. 18 to retrieve the bike, but since they never reported it stolen they had a hard time verifying it was Snow’s bike. Police accuse Snow of stealing it that same night after seeing where it was being stored.

The bike was found Wednesday at Snow’s grandmother’s house.

Police Sgt. Nisha King said such a heist has never happened at the department.

TME – This is the most Utah crime ever.

Sandwich sizing

PHILADELPHIA - A Philadelphia father put the city’s signature sandwich to use in a whole new way: measuring his baby’s size in cheesesteaks.

Philly.com reports Thursday that computer programmer Brad Williams used a foolproof system he calls “Cheesesteak for Scale” to measure the growth of his son during the child’s first year in 2015.

It started when he noticed his 2-week-old, Lucas Royce, was about the same size as a cheesesteak he’d brought home. So Williams snapped a picture of the sandwich next to his newborn and the tradition was born.

Every month for the next year Williams and his wife would buy a cheesesteak to track their growing boy.

He says babies and cheesesteaks are quite similar. He says they are warm and cuddly when wrapped up “but once you unwrap them, expect a huge mess.”

TME – Watch out for the whiz.

Felonious fiancé

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio - Authorities say a man robbed a bank in Ohio and used the money to buy his fiancée an engagement ring.

The Hamilton-Middletown Journal-News reports 36-year-old Dustin Pedersen has been charged with robbing a Fifth Third Bank branch in Trenton on Dec. 16.

Police say records show that Pedersen spent $4,500 on an engagement ring less than an hour after the robbery and presented it the next day.

A Trenton police detective said in court Wednesday the robbery netted $8,800.

Police say Pedersen became a suspect after a man wearing an identical hat robbed a Butler County bank six days later.

Pedersen has denied robbing any banks, but told police that surveillance photos of the robber look like him.

Pedersen’s attorney wasn’t immediately available for comment Thursday.

TME – Definitely not a conflict-free diamond.

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