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Celebrity Slam (292)

Monday, 14 May 2012 14:46

Celebrity Slam - May 9, 2012

Written by Allen Adams
Batting practice

In the course of conducting the exhaustive research required to fill this space with the hard-hitting Celebrity Slamming that you've come to expect, we sometimes learn unexpected facts about the world of the spotlight-seekers.

This week, we learned that the Los Angeles County jail has a celebrity wing. While that makes a lot of sense, it was something that we'd never really thought about. It's also a place that by its nature makes for some interesting fellow travelers.

Which brings us to the story of disgraced doctor Conrad Murray, singer James DeBarge and former pro baseball player Lenny Dykstra; this might be the only time those three names ever appear in a story together, so enjoy it.

Thursday, 26 April 2012 12:39

Celebrity Slam - April 25, 2012

Written by Allen Adams
LiLo doubles down

Here at Celebrity Slam, we have occasionally been accused of piling on. It's a valid point, but the truth is that certain famous people seemingly go out of their way to place targets on their own backs. We don't make these celebrities say what they say or do what they do we just mock them mercilessly when it happens.

Which brings us to Lindsay Lohan. Again.

A couple of weeks ago, LiLo was accused of getting into a shoving match with a woman at the nightclub Smoke and Mirrors. According to the claim, the woman was talking to a male friend of the actress and Lohan took umbrage, even going so far as to start pushing and shoving her.

Friday, 13 April 2012 13:42

Celebrity Slam - April 11, 2012

Written by Allen Adams
The Amanda Show

There are a lot of trashballs out there among the celebrity elite. These are people who despite their fame or more often because of it behave like irresponsible degenerate morons. We just shrug it gives us something to fill this space and it's not like we have high expectations of the Snookis and LiLos of the world.

And then there are the surprises. Surprises like Amanda Bynes.

Bynes apparently was clubbing it up in West Hollywood and got behind the wheel when she shouldn't have. According to law enforcement sources, Bynes attempted to pass a police car and sideswiped it, banging into the right real panel. Obviously, she was pulled over; officers determined that she was not fit to drive. She was arrested and carted off to jail.

Wednesday, 04 April 2012 17:11

Celebrity Slam - April 4, 2012

Written by Allen Adams
Community strife

The NBC show 'Community' has had a bit of a rough go recently. The show just came off a winter hiatus and its status in the network lineup is unclear after this season. Happily, those tensions haven't affected the on-set environment and everyone is pleased as punch to be working together for however much longer it lasts.

Ha! Just kidding. There's a full-on blood feud developing between Chevy Chase, one of the show's stars, and creator Dan Harmon.

While this conflict has allegedly been simmering for a while now, things came to a head during the filming of the season's final episode. Apparently, Chase wasn't feeling a scene and asked Harmon for a rewrite, saying that he wouldn't do the scene as it was currently written. Harmon refused and Chase left the set. There was some tension, but overall, things looked amicable.

Looks can be deceiving.

Thursday, 22 March 2012 09:49

Celebrity Slam - March 21, 2012

Written by Allen Adams

Another fallen 'Idol'

We've long had a bit of a fast and loose attitude in this space with regards to what actually constitutes 'celebrity.' We have to, if only so we can be sure to include the seemingly never-ending waves of reality stars who appear to be anxiously awaiting their chance to be complete a-holes.

Which brings us to Jermaine Jones.

Jermaine was a contestant on 'American Idol' you know, that show that people still inexplicably watch for some reason. He had spent a significant part of his time on the show throwing out sob story after sob story, including one about his absentee dad who suddenly reappeared when his son was on the verge of fame.

Thursday, 15 March 2012 07:17

Celebrity Slam - Mar. 14, 2012

Written by Allen Adams

Love hates Muppets

There are certain go-tos when it comes to this space. It's a wonderful day when I turn on my computer and immediately see the name of one of my favorites. It almost assures me that I'll have some first-rate, top shelf asshattery on which to comment.

Courtney Love's name came up today.

Yes yes yes we see a lot of Ms. Love in this space. If you are weary of her, I apologize. However, the fact of the matter is that she says and does a whole lot of crazy stuff. Not even Hollywood 'crazy' crazy crazy. Scary crazy. Happily, her latest insanity isn't of the abusive, apartment-burning ilk this time. Still, she has put some beloved characters right in her crosshairs.

Thursday, 08 March 2012 15:09

Celebrity Slam - Mar. 7, 2012

Written by Allen Adams
Give and take

You may not remember, but Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries were married for a little while. Then they got divorced soon afterward. However, unlike with most marriages, this divorce was only the beginning.

Kris Humphries has returned to the spotlight with his recent outrage about Kim's refusal to return the gifts they received from their wedding guests. Kim made a charitable donation (to the tune of $200,000 twice the value of the presents) instead of returning the gifts. It might seem a little weird that Kardashian is keeping them, but she's well within the parameters of proper etiquette. She was under no obligation to do anything, though the donation was a nice gesture.

While Humphries has said that he appreciates that Kardashian made the donation, he felt that the donation should have been made in addition to returning all the presents. He also made mention yet again that the guests were duped by Kim's 'fraud' with regards to the wedding.

Like sands through the hourglass

Where to begin? Let's start with the fact that all this donation stuff happened months ago. Are you really just now addressing it, Kris? Clearly it must have been bothering you if you spent the past three months formulating your response. That must be it, right? Or did you bring it up because you've been confronted with the fact that you're a mediocre basketball player and this is the only way you can get anyone to pay attention to you? It was nice being for-real famous for a few minutes, wasn't it Kris? Hard to let that go.

The best part of all is that one of Kardashian's friends is calling BS. He claims that he gave Humphries a $5000 gift card as a personal wedding gift and that Humphries refused to return it. So not only is he being a self-righteous d-bag about the whole thing, he's a hypocrite too!

That's not how ballers do it, buddy. Sit down on the bench and think about what you've done.

Southern-fried sexual harassment

Celebrity chef Paula Deen is in a bit of hot water thanks to a lawsuit brought by a former employee.

Lisa Jackson, who worked as the general manager of Bubba's Oyster and Seafood House (co-owned by Deen and her brother Bubba Hiers) in Savannah, Georgia from 2005-2010. She alleges that during the entirety of her employment there, she was subjected to all manner of inappropriate behaviors, including lots of racist and sexist comments. She is claiming sexual harassment and infliction of emotional distress.

Jackson claims that Hiers was constantly bringing pornography into the workplace, even going to XXX websites on work computers and never logging out, making porn a constant presence in Jackson's workday. He told her he wanted to replace the entire staff with 'Hooters girls' and complained about servers he deemed 'fat.' She also claims that Hiers told her to 'bring pictures of herself when she was young' for him to look at. In addition, both Hiers and Deen were liberal users of racial slurs, according to Jackson.

The irony is that the only reason Jackson was hired was because the man who previously had the gig was fired for you guessed it sexually harassing the staff. Said harassment led to this delightful aside: Deen allegedly said to the outgoing manager 'If you think I have worked this hard to lose everything because of a piece of p---y, you better think again, and now I'm going to do something I have never done I am going to put a woman in a man's job.'

How progressive.

While there are two sides to every story, if even a fraction of this is true, Team Deen has got some serious issues on their hands. Seriously what century is it again? I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that dropping n-bombs in the workplace has been considered inappropriate behavior for some time now. I can see how that sort of language might be disconcerting in a place of business.

And the porn thing is just gross. How socially maladjusted can you be? And to throw all this at the woman who replaced the guy you fired for sexual harassment? It's just ridiculous. The dude is a troglodytic moron whose sole redeeming quality appears to be his sibling relationship to a woman capable of constructing an entire meal out of butter and bacon fat.

GodI wonder what his office smells like.

Thursday, 01 March 2012 09:15

Celebrity Slam - Feb. 29, 2012

Written by Allen Adams
Young and crazy

We see a lot of faded stars in this space. It's easy to understand why; it must be hard to have stood at the top of the mountain, only to wind up crashing back down to Earth with the rest of us normies. However, there are always a few washed-up celebrities who take their fall from grace to a truly crazy place.

Step right up, Sean Young.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012 09:42

Celebrity Slam - Feb. 22, 2012

Written by Allen Adams
Hating Chris Brown: A Primer

When it first hit the scene, Twitter struck me as kind of pointless, but innocuous. How much could someone really say in 140 characters? How much trouble could they possibly get themselves into?

Obviously, I was nave. People - especially famous people - can't get enough of broadcasting themselves and their thoughts. However, with the instant gratification of something like Twitter, it was only a matter of time before the filters began to fail. Poorly thought out (and spelled) tweets from celebrities have become part of the pop culture zeitgeist. But, as with everything involving the famous, there's always someone who's going to take it next level.

Wednesday, 02 November 2011 16:11

Celebrity Slam - 11-02-11

Written by Allen Adams
Until death?

Everyone makes mistakes. Even famous people. However, there are varying levels of 'mistake.' Celebrity Slam isn't interested in your everyday accidents or errors in judgment. Nobody's perfect in this world; CS doesn't hold celebrities to a higher standard than anyone else. Just the same standard. It's when the spotlight seekers fail to live up to even that standard that they appear in this space.

This brings us to Kim Kardashian.

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