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Celebrity Slam - Shade and the City

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So we’re going to need to talk about Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker.

As anyone who reads this space with any regularity knows, we take great pride and joy in our coverage of celebrity beef. The petty conflicts between famous folks as they air one another’s dirty laundry in the public eye is just delightful, the idealized version of spotlight-seeker schadenfreude.

But sometimes there are beefs that are so all-consuming, so massive that even we fail to see the forest for the trees. Beefs that span decades with an omnipresence so encompassing that its presence is to us as water is to fish. We don’t see it or smell it or taste it … it just IS.

That’s what we’re talking about with Kim versus SJP.

First, let’s talk about what brought this feud back into the light. Cattrall’s brother had gone missing and was found dead earlier this month. As often happens when tragedy strikes, many reached out to Cattrall in her time of loss and expressed their condolences and support. And she was thankful to everyone who took the time to offer those feelings.

Except one.

“I don’t need your love or support at this time, @sarahjessicaparker,” the social media post read. “My Mom asked me today ‘When will that @sarahjessicaparker, that hypocrite, leave you alone?’ Your continuous reaching out is a painful reminder of how cruel you really were then and now. Let me make this VERY clear. (If I haven’t already) You are not my family. You are not my friend. So I’m writing to tell you one last time to stop exploiting our tragedy in order to restore your ‘nice girl’ persona.”

Cattrall went on to add a link to a New York Post story from last fall about the toxic mean-girl culture surrounding “Sex and the City.”

Yeah – there’s a LOT of anger here, going back 15-plus years (which, by the way, is how long ago the last episode of “SATC” aired and yet here we are still talking about it). By all accounts, SJP – as well as co-stars Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis – weren’t necessarily the nicest people as far as Cattrall was concerned. At least, that’s how Cattrall remembers it and she’ll be damned if anyone else is going to forget it.

It would appear that while there was bitterness and resentment and all of that, people were willing to allow bygones to be bygones – at least for as long as it took to make those two not-very-good-but-still-wildly-financially-successful movies. And that was all well and good – earlier this decade, everyone seemed willing to grin and bear it and make nice for the press junket cameras.

But then SJP threw Cattrall under the bus when discussing the prospects of a third movie in the series, essentially saying that literally all the pieces were in place when Cattrall basically changed her mind and torpedoed the whole deal. Meanwhile, Cattrall claims she made the fact that she was done with “SATC” clear a couple of years ago.

There’s plenty of other stuff as well – this crap has been brewing for the entirety of the 21st century – but let’s leave it here for now.

So – what to think? There’s no question that there’s a TON of bitterness and an almost equal amount of disdain oozing from Cattrall with regards to her former castmates. If we’re honest, it seems tough to imagine that this amount of genuine vitriol could spring from thin air. It’s pretty clear that Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte pretty much sucked for Samantha to be around.

Is it unseemly for Cattrall to still be clinging to her feelings of indignation? A little. Holding a grudge for a decade-plus is never going to be a good look. But if there’s even a modicum of truth to this, SJP has got some nerve inserting herself into the condolences. It would be a calculated effort to show everyone what a good person you are, springing from selfishness rather than any semblance of sympathy.

As always, the truth in this situation is likely somewhere in the middle. But that’s the thing – even if it is somewhere in the middle, SJP is in the wrong. You KNOW how much this person dislikes you; even if you do seek reconciliation, is a period of tragedy really the right time? We say no.

All we can say is this: Mr. Big would have handled this properly.

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