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Celebrity Slam - Services rendered

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Man oh man – we’ve got some big beef brewing.

It’s no secret that we here at Celebrity Slam just love sinking our teeth into the sizzling steaks that result from hip-hop stars taking shots at one another. Tender, delicious beef that perfectly cooked and utterly delicious.

Now, we COULD be talking about the weird mess going on Kanye and Kim and rapper Rhymequest – it’s a whole thing about people calling each other out and accusations being leveled regarding the Chicago-area charity named after Kanye’s mom. But that one looks to have the potential to be ongoing and on-growing, so we’re going to leave it be for this week.

No, we’re going to talk about the beef between Drake and Pusha T, because this is some USDA prime stuff right here. We’re talking Black Angus. We’re talking Wagyu. We are talking high-end Kobe. Exceptional beef, is what we’re saying.

There’s a bit of a history between these two guys, but we’re going to talk about the recent shots fired. In his new song “Infrared,” Pusha T calls out Drake for not writing his own rhymes. Drake responded with a diss track of his own, but the real fun comes from the invoice.

An invoice, you ask? Yes indeed.

See, after Pusha took his shots, he took to Twitter telling Drake to send him an invoice for the added publicity. So Drake totally did it, sending something short and to the point. “FOR PROFESSIONAL SERVICES RENDERED. Re: Promotional assistance and career reviving.” The invoice was for $100,000.

See what we mean by exceptional? This is some fine, premium cut beef, marbled with just the right amount of spite and entitlement and all-around jerkiness on both sides. It’s so good.

Part of why it’s good is that both dudes bring legitimate game into the fray. It’s long been a point of contention in the hip-hop realm that Drake has ghostwriters for at least some of his verses; Pusha T isn’t the first to do so, nor will he be the last. And you have to admire the degree of self-regard it takes to not only swing at a guy like Drake, but to imply that the wildly-famous Torontonian somehow needs help in the publicity department. Asking for the invoice was an inspired play.

But here’s the thing – people have been taking shots at Drake for a long time and he remains as popular as ever. A large part of that is because he’s developed an underrated ability to fire back at those who would take him down. But honestly, he has definitely taken it to another level with this response. To take the tossed-off insult of the invoice request and essentially double down on it was inspired – he seizes command of the situation while also putting a (very high) dollar figure on his own value. It’s an ingenious play.

One of the great things about this particular beef is how layered it is. It would be great if it was just the diss tracks or just the social media sparring; the fact that it brings both to the table illustrates just how special this beef is.

And yet … we need a winner.

It pains us to do this, because both men have operated at a high level, but we’re going to have to drop the Slam on Pusha T. Not because he didn’t bring his A-game – he definitely did – but because he got roasted anyway. Drake kind of served him his lunch with that invoice; things sort of backfired on him.

This is not Drake’s first rodeo. His whole career has been marked by other dudes taking shots at him. And one of the things that being a punching bag teaches you is how to counterpunch. That’s what happened here – Pusha T threw his best punch and Drake ducked it and landed a devastating counter.

So yeah – Drake wins. Or at least, Drake is currently winning. While it seems unlikely, there’s a chance that Pusha T can get up off the mat and keep this one going. We can only hope.

Again – this is GREAT beef. Anytime both parties are bringing it, we’re loving it. It’s ridiculous and petty and stupid in all the best ways. Here’s hoping these two keep swinging away.

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