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Celebrity Slam - Even beefier

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Since Celebrity Slam is a weekly feature, sometimes we have issues with timing. The truth is that while we’re always on the hunt for celebrity nonsense to scorn, deride and/or mock, we occasionally have to jump in on something a little early. We have to take a swing despite feeling fairly confident that further developments are just around the corner.

Last week, we talked about the Drake/Pusha T beef. Some diss tracks had volleyed back and forth and Drake had submitted an invoice to Pusha requesting payment for exposure deemed key to Pusha’s career. It was one of those situations where we were pretty sure there was more to come, but we wanted to get after it anyway.

If you’ve been following this thing at all, you know that we grossly underestimated just how much sizzle was going to spring from this particular steak.

This beef – already top-quality – has been taken to the next level. Basically, it’s as though the exceptional meat has been taken and lovingly prepared by the very best chef at an A-list steakhouse like Peter Luger in NYC or CarneVino in Las Vegas.

We left off last week after the whole invoice thing, where we dubbed Drake the winner. We assumed the clapback was coming, but we didn’t know it would be this soon. Or this vicious.

Pusha T dropped a track called “The Song of Adidon” that was a top-to-bottom assault on all things Drake. No stone was left unturned. Pusha went after Drake himself, obviously, talking about the deceptive nature of Drake’s fluidity of image among other things. But it wasn’t just Drake – Pusha went after Drake’s father, claiming that the reconciliation of the two was little more than a grab for credibility on Drake’s part. He also brought the kids into it, calling Drake out for being a deadbeat dad to Adonis, the son Drake allegedly fathered with former porn actress Sophie Brussax.

Even the cover image associated with the song was a shot, an out-of-context image of Drake in blackface pulled from a long-ago photo shoot.

“Adidon” is apparently a portmanteau of Adonis – Drake’s alleged son’s name – and Adidas; Drake has a deal in the works with the shoe company and rumors have circulated about Adidon as a possible name for the signature shoe.

(As an aside that will shock exactly no one, Kanye West has inserted himself into the fray, basically implying that the beef should go away because he’s Kanye and he says so or some such nonsense.)

And at the risk of being too early – again - we should note that noted hip-hop impresario has gone on the record as saying that Drake has recorded a paradigm-shifting track in response to all this hubbub. According to Prince, this track is so vicious, so undercutting that it will literally destroy careers – including that of Kanye, apparently. However, Prince also claims that he has talked Drake out of releasing the track, so you know … whatever. Basically, we’re left less likely to believe the track is real and more likely to want it to be.

BEEF.

This is life-changing beef, tender and succulent. This is the beef you dream about. This is bucket-list beef, the kind of beef you plan a vacation around. It is delicious and satisfying in ways you didn’t even think beef capable of achieving.

Pusha T has shown himself to be a full-steam-ahead, no-quarter-given beefer. This is a guy who is completely and utterly unafraid to go low, to get down and sling mud. Taking someone to task for repairing their relationship with their dad and then doubling down and attacking that dude’s relationship with his own son? That is nasty stuff, bloodier than a “Game of Thrones” wedding.

As for Drake? Well … if a diss track is written and never released, does it make a sound? It would almost be better to just stay silent. Sending your guy out there to tell people that you’re basically protecting livelihoods by not releasing this track isn’t a great look. Is it possible that track is real? Sure, it’s possible. But we’re in Occam’s Razor territory here, and the simplest explanation is that you just plain don’t have anything with which to fire back.

Advantage: Pusha T.

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