Celebrity Slam (61)
Happy Mother’s Day!
In honor of the recent celebration of Mother’s Day, here’s a story about a mother and child whose relationship has hit the rocks in a very public fashion.
Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant is currently embroiled in a dispute with his mother regarding an auction of some of Bryant’s sporting memorabilia. Pamela Bryant recently put more than 100 collectibles spanning Kobe’s career up for a June auction in New Jersey. She insists that Kobe gave her the items (which include a variety of jerseys, trophies and rings from throughout his basketball career) while also claiming that she has spent upwards of $90,000 on storage over the past five years.
Kobe denies all of this, saying that he intends to give the items to his children.
It has gotten ugly, with accusations flying from both sides – each alleging that the other is lying. Kobe’s father Joe has jumped into the mix, claiming that he and his wife asked Kobe to take some of the items to his California home – a request he says Kobe declined.
As you might imagine, lawsuits have been filed.
It’s bad enough that these sorts of family squabbles happen; unfortunately, this is the sort of situation where there can be no winner. While Kobe may well be totally in the right – all of these items came from his accomplishments, after all – there’s no way to get into a p---ing match with your mother and not look like a complete nozzle. Sure, he might want to give this stuff to his kids, but the circumstances sure do make it seem like he’s being a jerk.
Meanwhile, his parents look like complete gold diggers by trying to auction off his stuff. It isn’t so much the initial attempt to auction the memorabilia – they could very easily have thought it was theirs to do with what they liked. No, it’s the continued insistence upon selling even after Kobe voiced his disapproval that makes them look like greedy opportunists.
It’s sad that an issue like this can rise up and demolish a fragile family dynamic. Regardless of the eventual outcome, these relationships are irreparably damaged.
Happy (belated) Mother’s Day everyone!
Best feud ever?
We’ve got a potential classic brewing right now. It’s too soon to say if this particular feud has legs of if it will fizzle out; all we can do is cross our fingers and hope against hope that it gets worse before it gets better.
The two combatants? Zach Braff and Morgan Freeman.
I know – I’m as surprised as you are.
Braff has been embroiled in a bit of a controversy lately; the actor took to the crowdfunding website Kickstarter to finance a new film project. There has been some backlash, with critics calling out Braff for taking advantage of a resource like Kickstarter rather than footing the bill himself.
In the process of defending himself during a Q&A session, Braff (for some not-quite-clear reason) brought up Morgan Freeman’s recent AMA on Reddit, referencing the belief by many of that site’s users that Freeman’s vanilla answers were in fact written by a publicist or another Freeman employee.
Freeman’s response as captured by TMZ was, as you might expect, kind of perfect. When asked about Braff’s calling him out, his response was a simple “Not the best idea.” Freeman’s tone managed to strike a wonderful balance. He made it clear that he knew Braff would wind up regretting his comments while still conveying an air of genuinely not giving a crap.
Look, I like Zach Braff. I think he’s a funny, talented guy. But he had to know that the internet boo-birds were going to hit him hard; Kickstarter and sites like it are intended to help those with no other options bring their projects to life. You can’t tell me that Braff is without options. But dragging Morgan Freeman into it for no reason other than to try and ingratiate himself to the online masses is dirty pool. It’s a low blow against a guy who is the epitome of class.
It’s a shame that the big meanies out there think you’re a selfish tightwad. So sad that your feelings were hurt, but dragging someone completely unrelated to the situation into the crossfire in an attempt to shed some heat is weak sauce.
Seriously, Zach Braff – no one wants you to be a tool, so please stop acting like one.
Ain’t no fortunate son
It’s always a roll of the dice when it comes to the children of the hyper-famous. Sometimes, they manage to navigate the minefield of vast wealth and implied entitlement and still find a way to come out the other side as a reasonable, relatively decent human being. Other times, they turn out to be utterly self-superior nozzles.
Unfortunately, it seems that young Patrick Schwarzenegger is the latter.
The still-teenaged Patrick (he’s 19) used someone else’s ID to gain entrance to The Sayers Club, a Hollywood nightspot. Not the smartest move, but hey – he’s a kid. Kids pull dumb stuff sometimes. But if that was all, we wouldn’t be talking about this right now.
Reese gets rowdy
There are few things more likely to land a celebrity in this space than a wildly overinflated sense of self-importance. The only thing funnier than a famous person saying or doing something stupid is someone saying or doing that something stupid whilst swept up in a maelstrom of delusion and self-involvement.
Booze helps too.
Another Bieber fail
In case you were wondering, Justin Bieber is still behaving like a self-absorbed delusional little twit.
The latest misstep by the Biebs came during a recent visit paid to the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam. You would think that if anything could get Justin Bieber to behave respectfully and think about something other than Justin Bieber for a little while, this would be it.
You would be wrong.
Sex tape shenanigans
If you’ve been paying attention in recent years, you’ve noticed that MTV has seemingly gone out of their way to lower the bat when it comes to reality television. Shows like “Jersey Shore” and the like have turned some unpleasant people into celebrities.
Farrah Abraham, a former star of the network’s “Teen Mom,” has been popping up in the news in recent weeks following some drunken club antics and a DUI arrest. But she’s taken it to the next level – a sex tape with XXX star James Deen.
Bieber’s big week
Pop singer Justin Bieber remains – for the moment – one of the biggest stars in music. He is beloved by fans all over the world following his explosive trip to the top of the industry. In a mere five years, he has gone from one of the faceless millions on YouTube to a global icon.
But how much longer will he last?
Say it ain’t so, Franco!
We think we know celebrities. We’re constantly deluged with information about them, even outside their various film, television and music projects. All that data comes together and paints a picture of the famous that seems to be reliable in a general sense. We don’t necessarily know specifics of their personal lives, but their professional ones seem relatively clear.
But then something happens that completely turns your worldview upside down. Such an event recently took place involving actor James Franco.
Bieber the bully?
We’ve all seen that fame and fortune can lead to an inflated sense of self-importance. Being surrounded by yes-men dependent on your earning power certainly lends itself to an overinflated ego. And when celebrities believe their own hype, they sometimes find themselves taking shots at other famous folk – often for no good reason.
There are a few factors that go into the selection process for inclusion in this space. The ridiculousness of your words and actions can be a bit lower depending on just how famous you are. And the target of said ridiculousness also enters into it.
Actor Terence Howard made some rather salacious comments about filming with a co-star recently. Considering what he actually said – which we’ll get into momentarily – he probably would have made the cut regardless. However, since he happened to be talking about Oprah Winfrey…well, that’s when it gets awesome.
As you might guess, we here at Celebrity Slam are great fans of the wonderful satirists at The Onion. They’ve been offering up first-rate comedic commentary for decades now; they’ve proven again and again to take delight in pushing the envelope.
However, there is such a thing as pushing too far.
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